Fourth taggieee- end of the year khushiii :-D

I'm tagged by Alien i.e. Rohit. Seems weird calling him Alien :-(http://azurezone.blogspot.com) [Yes, I still don't know how to do that thingy where you write the name and click on it and it's a link to that person's blog. Oye. Peter. Teach me :-(( ]

1. What does your user name mean?
Mads: It means me and it suits me =)

2. Elaborate on your user photo.
Taken at a restaurant in Ahmedabad. I am wearing a pink t-shirt and holding a pink glass \:d/ Pink rocks !

3. How many comments do you have?
On ? :-

4. What's your current relationship status?
heehee married on facebook and orkut for the heck of it :-D But single rocks che \:D/

5. What exactly are you wearing right now?
black pant, white t-shirt (borrowed from my sister's wardrobe. Blush) and grey sweater \:D/

6. What is your current problem?
I have to go back to college on 2nd Jan. Today is 31st Dec night and I'm here doing a tag. Awesome way to welcome 2009. Har har :-

7. What do you love the most?
TAGS :-D Pink :-D Family :-D Friends :-D Cricket :-D Music :-D Smileys :-D :-D \:D/ PJs :D

8. What makes you most happy?
When I'm with the people I love to be with :-D

9. Are you musically inclined?
I'll be happy to think yes... :-P

10. What would you do if you woke up one morning and found out you were on cocaine?
I'll cry and cry and cry to my best friend in college. Since I can't tell my sis because she will kill me with a lecture instead of helping me :D My college friend will also kill me, though. I'm confused :- I will think about it, over cocaine.. :-P

11. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
Become emotionally stronger. That is, to have no emotions at all \:D/

12. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what would you be?
PIG. I don't know. I really love pigs. They are sooo cute...

13. Ever had a near-death experience?
Had couple of falls while driving. But I will survive \:D/ :-P

14. Name an obvious quality you have
Being jobless always? Ummm. Funny and spontaneous I guess.

15. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
Singin' Hey ya!! Say S for Sonia \:D/ Lol...

16. Are you happy today?
Yeah!! Waiting for 2009, chatting with my sister, pretending I don't have to go back to college day after tomorrow :-D

17. Who will cut and paste this first?
Dunno :-(( Nidhi, maybe? Peter won't, for sure. He hates tags. :-(( Stupid guy. Trinaa might do it soon. :D

18. Name someone with the same birthday as you
Umar Gul and Ambedkar \:D/

19. Do you have a secret crush on someone?
Yeah. Ranbir doesn't know I like him :-P Even Dravid doesn't know I like him :-(

20. Do you have a garbage disposal in your kitchen sink?
Yeah. I'm at home \:D/

21. Have you ever been in a fight?
Yes. No elaborations since mommy darling reads bloggy darling.

22. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
:"> Sang a rhyme once in school along with a group of kids. Miss Molly had a dolly who was sick sick sick... So she phoned to the doctor to be quick quick quick. With actions :-P =)) I still remember it :-D

23. What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex?
Height, smile, and then sense of humour

24. What's your biggest mistake?
\:D/ Too many to count :-P

25. Say something totally random about you.
Ooooh. I cry very easily :-D

26. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Yeah :">

27. Are you comfortable with your height?
Way too comfortable !! :-P

28. What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you?
Nothing. Gah. Boys, I tell you. :-((

29. What are your favourite smells?
Love the smell of coffee, my shampoo :P

30. What's something that really annoys you?
When people sulk and crib :- And force me into not being happy!!!!!! :-O

31. What's something you really like?
Being with family, friends, all the time :-)

32. Do you give random hugs and kisses?
Yeah a lot of hugs :D And flying kisses to Dravid, Ranbir all the time

33. What's the latest you have ever stayed up?
Not slept for more than 24 hours once, I think.

34. Have you ever been rushed to the emergency room?
:O Don't scare me. NOOOOOOOOOOO :-D

I tag everyone in my blogroll and everyone else who reads this post and comments :-P
Happy 2009!! May 2009 bring more tags for me :-D

My Date with a Future Indian Cricket Team Star- Part II

I sighed inwardly and continued gazing outside the window. The plane took off. 15 mins passed by and the guy continued whispering with the sardar. Finally,he stopped talking. I turned and saw that he had fallen asleep! :-(( Mummy...I was getting restless (P.S-I'm always restless.Arien,you see) He suddenly got up and our eyes met for some seconds. Taking advantage of the situation, I asked him whether he was from some cricket team.And that's how...we started talking...
Mr.Right-Yeah,I'm from the Punjab U-19 team which played against Gujarat yesterday in the finals...
Me,cutting him off,excitedly- Ooh, yesterday was the finals...which Gujarat won? (I thank my eyes for hurriedly seeing the grinning pic of the victorious Gujarat team on front page of Times of India,that day)
Trust me to be so insensitive.
Mr.Right giving me a hurt look, then giving a sad smile-Yeah..The Vinoo Mankad Trophy Cup..We lost to Gujarat.
Me,realizing I have to be sensitive- Oh okay...
He asked me what I was doing and why I was going to Delhi. (Supreme Court!!Law!!! Badiya ji...:-O :-D were his reactions)
Both of us took turns in, "Enough about me, let's talk about you."I won the battle as I forced him to talk about the match,cricket in general and himself,in general.
"You like Rahul Dravid??"he exclaimed."That slow coach, that something something" he kept blabbering.He adored Yuvraj Singh,it seemed. Duh. Punjab partiality !!!
Coming back to the match. it turned out they had only 210 or something like that to chase in 50 overs and they messed it up really badly by playing overconfidently. "You should have played smartly like Dravid instead of playing loose shots like Yuvraj" I remarked in a dry tone. "Yeah...I'll keep that in mind the next time I play",he said smiling yet another wow
smile.
The God dammed pilot announced that we were going to land in Delhi half an hour before time.Dammit.Lost precious 30 mins.Please please let the plane get hijacked....
Mr.Right asked me if I was from Gujarat. I said, I'm from Chennai and Mumbai and living in Gujarat. Sir laughed and said, "Maharashtra didn't even reach the semis." "So what?" I countered. "You lost to Gujarat".I taunted. I wanted to stick out my tongue too,lol. Then he raised his eyebrows and said, "Now, I promise you,we won't ever lose to Gujarat again. Just
watch out next season." So sweet,lol. He told me the itinerary of the next season then.
5 mins to land. There was an awkward pause between us. A cutie ahead was talking to Mr.Right so I pretended to be interested in looking outside the window again.Suddenly,
Mr.Right says,"Madhuri.."
Me,eyebrows shooting up-"What?"
Mr.Right-"Can I have your number?"
Now.Why was he Mr.Right?He was 6'2 or more than that,fair,athletic build,obviously a sports freak,a wow smile,educated(in the process, at least), spoke decent English, talked to me despite his coach's glares, and ignored his team mates who were catcalling and trying their level
best to get us to stop talking (Boys,I tell you. When will they grow up...)
But still. I said no.My stupid ethics and morals and principles and whatever came in the way. I wonder what would have happened if I had given my number....He asked me again thrice. Despite my nasty "Noooo"s, he was still sweet and nice to me.We had landed and I was struggling with my purse and laptop's weight on my shoulders.His team mates shamelessly gave me a huge grin.Stupid boys.He towered behind me and we didn't say a word, even when we got into the bus. Finally, when we were getting down, he opened his mouth to talk to me. His team mates crowded behind me pretending they aren't around.(I mean!!! What the heck!!!) The coach was giving Mr.Right the dirtiest look ever.Mr.Right simply told me it was nice meeting me and wished me all the best. Awww. I wished him back and told him to kick Gujarat's ass the next
time.
And that was the last time he smiled that wow smile at me.
I look at the progress of the Punjab team now, in the Ranji Trophy Super League.They haven't reached the quarter finals,it seems.Lost to Mumbai :-P
P.s- I have not written his real name, for reasons unknown to even me.... :-P
P.P.S- To all those curious souls who are shocked at my mom reading my blog: Yes, she already knows about this incident and it was she who suggested this incident as a blog post and
the title of this post :-D
P.P.P.S- He is truly Mr. Right :-((( Till I meet the next one,that is... :-P
P.P.P.P.S-I know this post is way too long. I already edited it about a zillion times. That's why I was delayed in posting this up. Inconvenience for all you curious souls is regretted :-P
P.P.P.P.P.S- I took his autograph,when we just landed. He was sooo happy :-) He asked me not to forget him ever :-P Trust me dude, I won't...

My Date with a Future Indian Cricket Team Star- Part I

Flights are the last place where you would think you would meet the man of your dreams. At least I never thought I would meet a candidate for my Mr.Right position. I usually meet middle aged, sex hungry looking men and women who yell in a shrieking tone 24*7 whenever I travel
by train or plane. All of us check the list of co-passengers while travelling by train and see the age and sex section specially, don't we?

I was going to Delhi for my internship.This was my 2nd journey by flight when I was travelling a-l-o-n-e. Alone meant:
1)No parents watchful eyes on your every move. Even if you wanted to go to the loo, our parents would give us dark looks as if we were going to have sex in the loo.
2)Freedom to eat whatever we want, that is even the most horrible looking food,freedom to stare at whoever we want.Freedom in general.

The disadvantage was that I couldn't use the loo whenever I wanted since I had my luggage to take care of.After controlling for an hour, I had to ask a helper in the airport to keep a watch over my luggage for a minute.That @Q$!@%$% smirked slyly when I came back.Gah.

I noticed a group of boys sitting with what looked like 15-20 cricket kits near the check-in counter.I ignored them since I noticed through the corner of my eye that my mom was still eyeing me through the glass doors.After check-in,and after getting my boarding pass I noticed all of them clambering into my bus (!!!) Whoopie!I tried all my tricks of watching through the corner of eye to see where they were from. It all failed.

Finally,I was seated.2 seats empty next to me.Lalala.Ek ke saath ek free,it seemed.2 sardars from that team came next to me.Grump.I have nothing against sardars but they were just okay looking.I turned back and caught one guy's eyes.And later caught many guy's eyes.

This looked too desperate.I turned back and pretended to be very interested in looking outside the window at a guy who was talking on a walkie talkie. I heard some shifting next to me. Ooooh. The sardar next to me had got up and the guy who's eyes had met mine the first time, sat down in his place. I looked away from him and continued looking outside,barely concealing my huge grin. I turned to wear my seatbelt.I couldn't find it :- I told the guy next to me in an icy tone that it was my seatbelt he was wearing. He gave me a W-T-F-is-wrong-with-you look and stuck his hand in between our seats and brought out my seatbelt. Errr.I tried to grin but was unsuccessful. Sir himself wasn't too pleased. He looked away and kept whispering with the other sardar.

So far so really bad. What happens next? Did we start talking? Watch this space for more...
P.S.- This is a true-life incident.I kid you not.

Men suck....But can we live without them?

This post is in reply to Peter's recent post against generalization by girls when we call all men as pervets, assholes, so on and so forth. I'm one of those staunch bloggers who keep doing the same. Call them pigs, call them stupid egoistic brats, I can go on.

The post, and a serious discussion with Peter on this topic made me realize I was wrong in doing that. But I cannot help it. Like men generalize and say girls are emotional fools, shopping freaks, et al.  

I had a talk with my friend about this last night. We decided to think about one good quality that most guys have. We thought for 44 minutes, followed by another discussion after court the next day and.....

We came up with the eight characteristics about guys...Which makes them guys :-|

1) Men are too chilled out. Won't take care of their room mates and sit with them when they aren't well, like we girls do. A tsunami can't stop them from playing that zillionth counter strike game of the day at 4 in the morning with an end semester exam the next day. 

2) Guys always make the first attempt making the girl's life much easier. The ball being in her court, u see ;-) 

3) When a girl passes by, a guy will end up noticing her face, and if he liked the face, then he moves downwards and moves upwards again. Stares again. Chapter over. 

When a girl passes by, a girl will notice her hair, accessories on hair, face features, face make up, clothes, other accessories like earrings,necklace, ring(if it's possible to see in those few minutes when she passes by her), her purse/bag/books/whatever she's carrying, then finally her shoes. And if her nail paint is visible, then that too :D 

It's fun freaking boys out by noticing so much and discussing about it with them, isn't it? =)

4) Can they sound any sexier when they are asleep and you hear their half sleepy voice? I think not! :-)

5) They have a good sense of direction. Won't ask anyone for help, but will circle around lanes a zillion times but yes, in the end they get you to your destination. That is, if we shut up and don't stand in their way=)

6) Can act like real babies and stubborn and create a fuss over nothing. Call us drama queens, but they are no less!! :-| 

7) The presence of a guy makes a girl feel really secure. Not claiming that girls cannot be independant and cannot protect herself. His presence makes her feel confident. Like a feel good factor =)

8) They are good at gadgets. A technician cum electronician cum plumber at our disposal :D

They might not have a single romantic bone in their bodies. They might choose computer games over you. They might love the car,booze more than you.

But Eve settled for Adam, didn't she?

DISCLAIMER:- I have written the above mentioned things noticing other guys and listening to the dramatic experiences of my friends. Have to mention this since my mom reads my blog and she will wonder what I'm upto in college ;-) 

Not that this disclaimer will work. She'll still ask me what I'm upto in college =))

Eureka Moments that define my life. Part II

Despite having my college's most renowned computer expert(Bill Gates resigned since he heard about my brother, you know :D) as my rakhi brother in college, and despite spending eternity on the computer, I'm a total blonde (no offence to other blondes :P) when it comes to computers. I mean, it's too confusing. Why can't they say box instead of URL? Why do they use absurd words like LAN and confuse us so much? We already have Microsoft XP, then why do we need Vista?

Anyway, I struggle and try to pave a way out of my computer fiascos. Most of the time, I don't manage to figure out things myself; it's too pissing off. Usually, I get enlightened by my fellow homo sapiens(which includes intellectuals like Peter and Nidhi). I had written a previous post on one of my most famous (on blogger world) fiascos related to my mike on my laptop (It's labelled Eureka) After the roaring success. (people still taunt me for that. I can hear their roaring laughter hitting hard in my ears. Ouch.)

Here's a much needed sequel to them, The Eureka Moments....

1) Shift plus (I can't find the plus sign on the laptop. Where the hell is it? I wasted 15 mins searching for it. Crap). So, shift plus delete makes the thing get deleted forever, rather than go to Recycle Bin. How cool is that? I opened new document folders about 20 times and kept shift plus deleting it. Hee hee hee :-D

2) Muting the mike and trying hard to speak on it. How cool is that again....

3) You can save pics from other's orkut albums simply by dragging their pics and throwing them on the desktop. I won one over Mr. Orkut what's his name. Hah.

4) Clicking the webcam on for my sister and sitting in a nice pose, waiting for her to react on how nice/bad I'm looking. Wondering for 15 mins why she isn't reacting. Then receiving an angry message from her saying my webcam shows blank screen. Realizing after 15 more minutes that the cap of the webcam is still on it.

5) You can actually display (show off) whatever song you're listening to as your gtalk status message. The only fucking part is people on your list, whom you have added just because they are from your college, and then pretend they don't exist (and vice versa), message you asking you to send the song to them. That too, on my horrible net speed connection in the hostel. Dammit.

6) You can use the print button (which remains dusty half the time since it's not used and it's in the top portion. Poor thing, no one touches it. I even feel bad for the keys X,Q and Z because no one touches it.) Ya so, you can use the print button to get a print view of your desktop screen. I used it when I did the desktop story tag.

A Tearful Petition, A Dad Joke and An Equally Tearful Goodbye.

----------->Dear Ekta Kapoor,
This is a petition to request you to stop the strike and telecast your serials again. My holidays do not seem like holidays. They are torture. I'm bored of MTV, who's roadies are worsening, series, after series (My personal view, don't mind) and Channel V (Yeah, it's still okay) and the stupid Gujarati Local Channel even though they play Bachna ae haseeno songs 20 times a day. But nothing beats the entertainment your serials provide. Please please come back, I miss you. It was miserable enough, the way Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi ended (Parvati bhabhi of Kahaani Ghar Ghar Ki has Karan and Nandini's child, Parth. Can you believe it? :-O)
I didn't even like the way Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kii ended. Hope there is a sequel to it. You can stop wasting your energy on your Mahabharat serial- that really sucks :-(
I guess I've said it all. Please come back.
Regards,
Your fanatic :-)

--------------> A Dad Joke. (Read the label of Dad Jokes to understand what they are) I told my dad about the guys in the hostel, boozing after exams as a celebration. Dad grins and says, "Booze is the secret of their energy."
Hahaha :-D

------------> I'm interning in Delhi for a month. So, I'll be pretty irregular with the blog. You had better miss me. I'll definitely miss my blog and miss reading your blogs :-(

p.s- Write your 'goodbyes' and 'we'll miss you's asap, since I won't be able to check my blog from Delhi :-P

Third Taggie Waggie :-D

Lifted it from Ne's Blog. You can check Ne's Blog out from my Blogroll list, I don't know how to give her blog's link over here when you click on her name (if you know what I'm trying to say)

You people have to fill this questionnaire in the comments section. \:D/ (I'm obsessed with the dancing smiley, forgive me)

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. Something I have and YOU want?
4. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
5. Describe me in one word.
6. What was your first impression of me?
7. Do you still think that way about me now?
8. What reminds you of me?
9. If you could give me anything what would it be?
10. How well do you know me?
11. How do you see me in the future?
12. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
13. Are you going to post this in your blog and see what I say about you?

Please, please put it on your blog too, so that I can do it again and again and again :-D
\:D/ Yahhhhh !!!!!!!

A Tribute to my Blogger F.R.I.E.N.D.S

When I'm low, no one's there,
When I'm high, no one cares,
When you least expect it, comes someone in your life,
To be with you, in each and every strife,
They are my friends on the blogosphere,
Each one of them, a gem, so dear.

My favourite, the cutest of them all,
Is Peter, with whom I always have a ball,
My soul sister, who's after the same guy as me,
She's Trinaa,"Oh Ranbir!!", we say we glee,
There's Nidhi, who's always shopping or cooking,
Abhinav's tongue cannot stop working,
Sia's crazy, completely wild,
PJ, who's more mature than me, even if she's just a child,
Alex Paul, a great writer, keeps me entertained,
HP, who's good at computer things, leaves me dumbfounded,
Raka, who is wicked, always upto some fun,
With Harshita, her number one. (KIDDING!)

These are my friends, now blogroll them before it's too late,
I guarantee, they'll make your best mate!!

P.S- This poem was written under immense frustration and irritation. Guests had come over at 10 in the night and were there till midnight. I thought I could shower them with my mesmerising presence and a quick Bolt types speech(Arre, that guy who got fastest running record in Olympic Games :D):-"Hello Aunty,How are you, I'm fine,Happy New Year(Gujjus have their New Year now)"and flash my 1000 watt fake smile and bury myself in the computer. But Alas. The guests had come to learn from my Dad about this invention by Charles Babbage. My Dad, the know-it-all,can stop me from watching K serials at 10 in the night and can give me a lecture about using the computer after 11 in the night and not sleeping early, but he could teach the guests shit on computer till midnight. Sigh. Life is unfair. I locked myself in my (and my invisible sister's) room and fumed.

I missed my blog and my comments (which were actually becoming 30+ per post.Wow) Hence, this poem, dedicated to my bloggie friends :-)
-I wanted to rhyme Raka with Hakka Noddles which Nidhi made (What's the difference between pasta,momo and hakka noodles? I don't know :D)

-I couldn't fit in Buzzz,Sarath,pseudo intellectual and hell lot more bloggers due to lack of patience(See I was very pissed, and even this poem ain't that great, so be lucky you
are missing out :D) on my part. I shall do the honours sometime soon.

....Pierced.....

I had been dying to get my second piercing in my ears done since my 11th class, seeing the girls around me sporting 4-5 piercings on one ear. But I was too scared of the pain, and my family and friends refused to accompany me because they were not interested.
Finally, I got it done with my college friend (Bench Partner :D)It ached whenever the wind swept against my face. It ached whenever I combed my hair and accidentally brushed the comb near my ear. It ached whenever I slept (I CANNOT sleep in a straight position. That's why when I turned, my ear got screwed on either side) Soframycin was(is) my saviour as I dabbed it on every night. It still ached :-(

Responses-All my college friends thought it was cool. They thought I was brave to get it done without shedding a single tear (considering the fact that practically everyone had seen me crying after we lost the throwball match and everytime when someone shouts at me) They encouraged my plan of getting a nose piercing done.(I don't know how I'll survive. But yes. I will do it!!)

My family thought it was cool. Sister sent a message through my mom to me-
"How did you let her do it?" (Hah. Jealous brat)
"How did she do it?" (Ok, good question. A guy shot my ear with a gun. Lo Behold. There was a hole and a tingling feeling in either ear)
"How does she look?" (The usual, since hardly anyone noticed it. I had to point it out and then they reacted as if they were forced to react. Gah. People suck)

My school friends haven't yet seen it. But they think I'm starting to behave like those hi-fi people we have in college. (No!! I'm still a desi girl who prefers using "abbe saali, what's up be?" instead of "what's up,bitch?")

Present Status: Single. :P Ok, bad one. So, exactly a month is over since I pierced it. FYI, after you pierce it, you are supposed to wear the screw that they shoot you with, for the next 15 days. After 15 days, I slowly removed the screws. Both of them were bloodied. YUCK.I didn't wear anything since it was aching a lot. On the 26th day, it suddenly struck me that I have a second piercing and I need to do something about it. The next day was Tamilian Diwali, and what a day to discover that one of my piercings had closed. Sob. I ran to BP and she consoled me. I had to pierce it again myself. I waited for Tamilian Diwali and Diwali to get over. On 29th, I took my ear ring and pierced it again and brought it out. No, I didn't shout. Bloodied again. Ewwwwww.

In short, all my 4 piercings are in a fine condition, although it still aches. Now, I ask you, guys and girls. IS IT WORTH IT?
p.s- I know, the title of the post sucks. Couldn't think of anything better!!!

I fucking love you

Aren't we all obsessed with the F word? Whatever be the situation, this word comes out of our mouth.
A fucking poem dedicated to you, my fucking F-word, my fucked up love.

It's a fucking world, with only fuckers around,
Fuck fuck fuck, go people, round and round,
Happy, frustrated, pissed, indifferent, it's always Fuck you,
Fucking shit, it's doesn't happen to only us few.

Fuck fuck fuck, every day is a brand new fucking day,
Every minute, every hour, it's only fuck we say,
Helps life go on, satisfaction it's always giving,
Helps making our life worth fucking living.

A fuck to the people who think fuck's a shame,
I love, adore, admire when I play this fucking game,
The game of Fuck, who fucks is the fucking winner,
Who doesn't...well...fuck your face in that mess ka dinner.

P.S- No, this was not written only because of my frustration due to exams. It was written due to some other factors too. A fuck to all of that. Fucking cheers!

The Bus Trip of a Lifetime

This has got to be one of my best bus trips ever. No, I didn't go to Shimla or Nainital with some hot guy. This was a simple bus trip from my college to my hostel which lasted for 10-15 mins.How can I forget the wackiest conversation we ever had in the bus....
Characters(pun intended) in the bus:
1)The protagonist (ME) *drumroll*
2)My female partner in crime. My first bencher friend whom we shall call 'FB'.
3)The female who's already pink cheeks turned red with embarassment. My bench partner whom we shall call 'BP'.
4)The junior(girl) who was caught in the middle of it all. Literally. Whom we shall call 'J'.
5) Loads and loads of irritated, frustrated, angry, pissed, sad, depressed, seniors, juniors, sub-juniors, batchmates around....

It was around 7ish when BP, FB, J and I were yapping away and coming to the bus to go back to the hostel. FB, BP and I had just watched our senior's moot(Go to wikipedia.org for the meaning, I'm too bored to elaborate). While we were getting into the bus, FB and BP were telling J about my exclusive MJ's (Madhuri Jokes- I don't make up all the jokes myself, btw) and J was fascinated and wanted to hear more. And I complied with her request....

Me- (with a superior look)- What do you call a Maruti Car from which petrol leaks?
J-(sniggering)- Leaking car.
Me-(raised eyebrows)
FB- (laughing out in typical LOL style) She, seriously, has a loud laugh.
Others in the bus turn around. Coincidentally, we all were sitting at the back. Me and BP were in one row and J was standing in between me and FB who was in the next row.
J- I give up. Tell naa!!
Me-(smiling in ':D smiley' fashion)- Maruti 'susu'ki !
The junior in front of me and BP laughed in LOL style. FB LOL'd again even though she had heard (suffered) the joke with which I had started my career of torturing people with my jokes.
J-ohhhhhhhh. (What a diplomatic reaction!)
Me- (the idiot, nincompoop that I am, announce loudly)- Hey, FB, rape wala joke batau J ko?
Naturally, everyone looks back in fascination. Notice, how people's eyes light up at the sound of hearing a joke on sex or rape, even when they complain they don't want to hear. Heeheehee...
BP tries to hide her face.
FB (shouting again. She is an idiot. That's why naturally, she's my friend!)- Arre, itni zor se bolna padega kya, ki rape wala joke hai? (in a panicky voice) No, Madhuri, we are in a bus. No, don't do it.
J- (naturally very excited)- Tell, tell tell.
The senior who had just finished his moot turned back then. He was tired, frustrated. Poor thing. He had to end up sitting in the same bus as me. He gave me a 'Please, stop it' look. Poor thing. But I had to do it.
Me- (trying to speak in a hushed tone. Only some juniors including J ended up hearing it, so it was alright)- Is it possible for a man to rape a woman who's running with a skirt?
J- (trying to apply all the Biology stuff she had studied. Thinks deeply)- Errrr. Yeah, he can also run fast, I guess.
ME- No, he can't. Because a woman can run faster with her skirt up than a man with his pants down.
FB, J and me -Hahahaha (really loudly)
J- That wasn't funny. Dass diya. (gloomy face. Arre. But she laughed naa?)
(Now, FYI, Dass diya is a form of 'paka diya yaar' in our college.)
J- You know, Dass diya is too boring now. We should change the name.
Me-(excited)- Let's change it to pakao!!
J and FB -(cheerfully shouting) Pakao Pakao
The entire bus was shooting us dirty looks. BP still hiding her face under her bag.
Me-(thoughtfully) Pakao sounds like Wakao!! You know, that Vivek Oberoi drink thingy? Vanilla plus coke? Have you had it? I have had it. It's just ok ok, you know.
J- Yaaaaa even I didn't like it.
FB- What? What's that? (The lost soul that she is. Gah.)
Me-(always the educated one)- Arre, that drink. Vanilla plus coke. Diet Coke was it? Plus, J, do you remember, those jokes used to come on that drink? Oh God, they were so irritating. (But I still religiously read it. LOL)
Me- Anyway. What do you call a man who runs with a beer bottle? (Yes, I made this one up)
FB- OH NO!
BP- Please, Madhuri. (She looked up and saw we were nearing the hostel. I realized that too, and I got panicky. I hadn't told J more jokes!Shit!)
J- A drunkard?
Me-(ignoring her answer)- Ran-beer. (blushing and giggling)
J- Aaaaaargghhh!
We clambered out of the bus, shouting (since, none of us can sing) title song of Rock on!! for some damn reason. The senior who had just finished his moot, came to me and said in a dangerous voice, "What the hell were you upto?"
I blushed.

The Eureka Moments that define my life....

I'm not exactly a dumb blonde. But yeah, I tend to be dumb sometimes....Maybe, that's why Deepika has Ranbir and he doesn't know about my existence. (sniff sniff)


Sometimes, I discover somethings which were right in front of me: and I never figured it out.

It's those Eureka Moments that I'm gonna write about.


1) I have a laptop since August 2006; and I discovered on 13th October 2008 that my laptop has an inbuilt mike. Damn. I could have talked with so many people on mike instead of wasting money on those damn phone bills. Damn damn damn.

Positive side of the story: Yay!! I'll have someone to talk to even at 1 in the morning when I'm bored. Yay!! I can chat with my sis!! Yay!! I end up talking only 10,000 words a day(minimum): now I can talk 10,000 words at night too(minimum)!

2) How did I discover it? Don't you dare laugh: The other person called me up on gtalk to make me hear a song, and I was oblivious to the fact that the other person can hear me. I was happily abusing another person who was irritating me; and abusing my laptop for being so slow. Suddenly, the other person messages me on gtalk: stop saying 'shit'.

I gaped at the laptop screen.

Then, I understood. My laptop had an in built mike.

3) But where was it? I was talking on the mike, and the other person could hear me; but I didn't know where to talk. I felt the mike was under the laptop. I tilted my poor, poor laptop and started speaking on it.

The genius at the other end remarked. They wouldn't be stupid enough to place a mike under the laptop. Right?

Yeah. Actually.

The icing on the cake.Err. laptop, I mean: We started talking about mikes (typing, not talking) and the conversation jumped to web cams. Of course, I have a web cam at home, but I had never seen a web cam on any laptop. So, my friend just generally mentioned if I had a webcam, I would be having a mike too.
And yours truly over reacted. (why?why? Is this the reason why I didn't get Rahul Dravid and i can't get Ranbir Kapoor now?) I was tilting my laptop on all angles possible trying to find the mike, so I was distracted. But. I can't forgive myself for being so dumb.

I say:
OMG. Do I have a webcam also????? :O

The worst part: One day after this web cam (mis)adventure happens, I saw a webcam on a friend's laptop. I gazed at my reflection and wondered. Why. why. why......

4) P.s- I still don't know where my mike is. But I still talk.

I'll write more of these Eureka Moments later.

p.p.s- Credit goes to Peter for giving those dumb blonde moments the tag of 'Eureka Moments'

And no more posting for the next 2 weeks. Exam time is back. Sniff sniff.

My Second Tag! Blush blush!

I love Tags. Why?

1) Helps you waste 2 mins reading a Tag.
2) Helps you waste 2 more minutes rejoicing the fact that you have been tagged.
3) Helps you waste eternity doing the tag. Specially during exam time :-)

Peter's tagged me. (God bless that guy)

The rules(which I never bother to read, but I am reading now) are:

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people..

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
# MEN SUCK. or ALL MEN ARE SEX HUNGRY or THAT #&^*$#$# or many other reactions possible...

2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
# I dream for a living, so hmmm....being happy and seeing my loved ones happy, I guess (sounds too senti? That's me)

3. Whose butt would you like to kick??
# I usually kick those people who I'm seriously pissed with...Currently...wanna kick my own butt for not studying and wasting time.

4. Where do you see yourself in 10 years time??
# Happy, well settled (job wise I mean) with a tall, fair/dark (I'm not racist), handsome guy, running after my sister's kids and seeing India on number 1 position in cricket and hockey. I can still go on....*dreamy look* And yeah, with a nice complexion :-) And yeah, with more blogger fans. You can help in the last cause. (I sound like those CRY and other NGO's who say 'You can help make a difference')

5. What would you do with a billion dollars?
# Shop till the shop keepers drop.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
# She is a girl and we both are straight. And if you are talking about a guy who's a good friend, naah. He's too short for me.

6.Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
# Both are equally romantic :D :P

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?
# Do I love someone? :O

8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?
# Forget him. Aur kya? Duh....

9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?
# Definitely go against child labour.

10. What takes you down the fastest?
# I'm short tempered anyway. But anything against me, my friends, my family. And the person is dead the very next second.

11. What's your fear?
# Dogs, moving forward in life, doctors, injections, blood. Aarrgh. And yeah, India losing to Pakistan or Australia.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
# Peter- a great sense(less) humour, one of the few sensible(single :P) guys left on Planet Earth.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
# Married and poor. I'll bug my poor husband to work over time and earn more :D

15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
# Growl and switch off the cell phone's alarm and go back to sleep.

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?
# None :P I love my single status.

17. Would you give all in a relationship?
# I think yes. If it's mutual, of course.. :D

18. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?
# Yeah. I'm that types. *has a halo on her head and angel wings spread*

19. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
# Single rocks as long as I am single!! :-)
(And as long as Dravid is married and Rambir is devoted to Deepika)

20. Your dream match?
# A guy. Tall. Cute. Sweet. Extremely funny and witty. Creative. Very smart. Sportsperson. So, where are you? :D
PEOPLE I TAG:
1. Disha
2. Sia
3. Nidhi
4. Alex
5. Chetan Bhagat (Pls Pls Pls Pls at least see my blog. My template isn't even pink.)
6. Pooja
7. Trinaa
(Yay!! I tagged so many people!! :D :D)

Saurav Ganguly's life, in Saurav Ganguly's words.....

Saurav Ganguly's called it a day. He is not going to play in either ODIs or Tests after the Australia series. Many say it's a VRS (Voluntary Retirement 'Schemed') and not VR (Voluntary Retirement). We shall never know what really happened, but can only speculate. Instead of wasting further time, I had better shut up. Because, it's Ganguly who wants to talk to us now.

Hey People,
I'm chucking the usual formalities of hi-how are you now; don't mistake it as my usual arrogance; I'm just doing it because maybe a certain Steve Waugh might be reading this. I can irritate him even after he's retired and I'm following suit (Heeheehee)

You guys (referring to the media, the journalists who earn more money when they stop other's from earning through their hugely speculated and exaggerated articles.Damn you.) carried a story, immediately on my debut, in 1992, that I refused to carry drinks. Yes, I was a rebel since then. And why not? In the end, they had to give in to me. They can call me arrogant, they can call me a stubborn brat. But they needed the aggressive, leader in me. We move to 1996, when I made my Test Debut. I was there at the crease with a fine looking boy, Rahul Dravid. We decided to treat each other; whoever scores more will treat the other. No wonder, Dravid was happier than me when I scored my first century on debut. We hugged each other, then hogged together, immediately after the match; we bonded really well. Cricket was not the only thing we had in common.

Blush Blush. I got my shona at last. I got married to Dona, my next-door neighbour. We eloped and got married; so exciting it was. But we are accepted by both the families now. Treat treat, Dravid winked at me. Sachin, Azharuddin, Manjrekar coached me on the Do's and Dont's of marriage and on How to keep your wife happy 365 days a year. Man. Cricket was much more easier than marriage.

Sahara Cup 1997. I won 5 Consecutive Man of the Match Awards. Man of the series too, btw.

Arjuna Award in 1998. Wow

1999. Man of series against New Zealand. Yo yo yo....

World Cup 1999. My First World Cup. Yay!!! I was representing India. What a feeling. Am glad I ditched football and went for cricket; thanks to my big bro Snehasish. Did you know I played left handed, because my bro was a left hander, and I had to use his equipment? Hehehe. That's how things went 'right' for me. I scored the highest score by an Indian; 183 against Sri Lanka. I beat Kapil paaji's 175*, which was the previous record.

Tendulya and I were one amongst the best opening partnerships in the world, then. We gelled so well, that Dona and Anjali often had their suspicions. Dravid was still single; damn him.

In Feb 2000, I was appointed captain. Treat treat, Dravid sang again. I took over, after the matchfixing scandal. I had my team to back me. The battle was half won already.

The Aussies arrived here, in 2001. Raped us in the 1st match. Then the Kolkata Test happened. I considered changing my sexual orientation after Laxman's scintillating 281 and Dravid's 180, Harbhajan's hat trick, won us the match. It happened on my Eden Gardens soil. I couldn't have been happier. I irritated Steve Waugh by keeping him waiting for the toss. Hehehe. It wasn't intentional. I had better things to do: Keep Sachin's phone away when Anjali called , put gel on Laxman's already gelled hair, pull the nada of Dravid's pants, etc. Others had to take revenge. They used to hide my contact lenses. Sniff sniff. How they trouble their captain. Incidentally, they were psychological tricks which worked. We won 2-1. Steve Waugh hated me. Blush blush.

The Natwest Final, Jan 7, 2001. My current crush- Yuvraj Singh and-newly developed feelings for- Mohammad Kaif, played the match of their lives. The adrenalin rush, the burst of emotions, I didn't know what to do. I removed my t-shirt. My India had won the series out of nowhere. So there. (The best part was Dona screeching on the phone: You looked so hot!)

World Cup 2003. We reached the finals. But lost out badly. Disappointed, we were. For once, Dravid didn't ask for a treat. Thank God he shut up. Why didn't he ask for a treat? Beause he was busy with something else. Ahem. Someone else. He finally got married. In a secret affair to a doctor. Wow. Lovesick, Rahul was and we didn't even know about it. Treat treat treat treat, I bugged him. He simply blushed. Me and Sachin smirked. Welcome to hell, mate.

We matched Australia in their own den. 1-1. My century at Brisbane showed the freaks what I was all about. Sachin, Dravid, Laxman,Sehwag= I wanted to marry all of them. They were too, too good. Irfan Pathan's debut. I knew he had it in him. I came back home. Dona had given up on me. She simply smiled when I talked about them in my sleep. Awww. I love her.

We won in Pakistan after 50 years in 2004. My own form troubled a bit.
Australia came to our home next. The Nagpur test changed my life. And our dear coach. Greg Chappell. I was dropped from captaincy. I went inside the dressing room to pack my bags. Dravid and Sachin didn't know what to tell me. But I understood. Things were going to change professionally. But our personal equation was never going to change. I smiled and asked Dravid for a treat: He was going to be the new captain.

India did well under Dravid's captaincy. He called me after each match. He didn't want the job. He wanted me back. I cried after every call. Didn't he know how badly I wanted to be in the team, if not captain?

You freaks, you media assholes. You don't know when to talk and when to shut up, right? Reports that I had an animated discussion with Dravid because I wanted to open. Oh damn you.

In 2006, my gritty 30's in Karachi, where we lost badly and sadly, didn't help my cause. I was dropped. Again. I went to the dressing room, to collect my bags, to go home. We were men ageing from 25 to 35, in the team. But we didn't behave like one. Everyone cried that evening.

I was back. (drumroll in the background) I raped the South Africans, England team and then Pakistan, single handedly. My first hundred at home (Thank you, Kolkata. Thank you, so much)
My first double hundred-239 at Bangalore (Dravid treated me this time. Hehehe)

Dhoni, is a fine lad. Reports of him and us seniors, being at logger heads and crap, is absolute crap. God bless him. We need Indian captains like him. I knew Yuvraj would do well. He still hails me for everything he does. Blushes.

IPL. Kolkata Knight Riders had its side of controversies. Blah blah blah. Gah.

Surprisingly, I was dropped from the CB series in Australia. Dravid was dropped too. Before, we used to abuse some well chosen gaalis. But now we had grown up. Grown old, I mean.

We won, we didn't complain. We can do anything to see the dejected look on Australian's faces. Even stay out of the team, if India wins.

Me and Dravid had a poor run against Sri Lanka, when we visited them. We discussed retirement. No ways, we both laughed.
I was omitted from the Rest of India squad in the Irani trophy. I don't know what happened. I talked with Dona. I decided I had to retire, after the Australia series. I talked with my team next. Dravid was surprised, but he hid it well. Even Laxman, Sachin. They wanted me to stay, but didn't tell me. I know them too well. But unfortunately, I knew myself better. I couldn't stay any longer.

Thanks to all my fanatics, fans. Thanks to all the anti-Dada people out there; thanks for adding the grey effect to my career. It has been a colourful one.

Love,
Dada.

Just one last thing, lads,
Should Dravid treat me or should I treat him after we win the series against Australia? Or should we take a combined treat from Sachin when he crosses the 77 runs mark? Yeah, that would be a wise thing. Hahahaha. I should tell Dravid and Laxman and the whole team in advance, so that Sachin can't back out. But then, he's used to immense pressure always. Maybe he'll just ignore us? Damnit.

DISCLAIMER- IT'S ALL MY IMAGINATION, WHICH HAS BEEN AS USUAL EXAGGERATED. AN APOLOGY TO PEOPLE WHO FOUND IT DEROGATORY OR UN-AMUSING. I COULDN'T WRITE A TEARFUL TRIBUTE TO GANGULY, BECAUSE I CAN'T DO THAT. HE DESERVES A CHEERFUL ONE.

I miss you....

Yay! Been almost 1 month since my sister left, and I haven't cribbed about missing her...Let all the frustration come out now...


It seems like a house, when I go home. No one ready with a cup of coffee and a smile, to listen to my endless chatter. No one to wipe the vessels while I hover around her, and put the vessels inside. She never said a word when I left the vessels midway and ran to watch K serials. No one to give me dirty looks and sarcastic remarks while I watched Ekta Kapoor serials. An empty bed with my 3 dolls, and all the space to roll around sucks. No one to talk to till 2 in the morning and then bang my legs on her while I sleep. No one to press my knees in the morning when they ache. She never forgot to hug me before I left for college or anywhere. No one messaging me those long sms when I'm bored in class. No one to support Nadal when I support Federer.(and abuse Nadal constantly) (Irony that Nadal became no. 1 after she left for U.S.A, only) No one to tell non veg. jokes and get a dirty look added by a naughty smirk in reply. No one to pray to God to forgive her for the sins she never committed, when Dad, Mom and I crack susu, toilet jokes during dinner. No one getting awesome grades and running to tell me first about it, and then the rest of the world. No one preaching me. (and the preaching actually working on me) No one to share my crushes (Hehehe. Although, despite, the distance, we still have common crushes) No one to go shopping with, and get irritated at when she's confused between 5 tops and 10 jeans. No one to check out new shopping malls which open in Ahmedabad. No one to exchange bored looks with, during marriages and relative visiting sessions. No one to correct the errors in my blog (no wonder, the fan club for my blog has decreased now.Hmmph!!) No one to take me to eat makkai on the roads.

No one to love. Adore. Be mesmerized by.

(Nevertheless, there's Mom and Dad. Not taking away anything from them. But they are MOM and DAD. Not SISTER....)

I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you....
Forgive the sentiness (I hope you got what I want to say, since, sentiness is not a word, and I don't have my dictionary=my sister to get the proper word.) Henceforth, I shall keep my senti crap to myself.....

The tune that hit the right note....

I have my Constitutional Law-III project submission tomorrow. Also, I have my Law of Evidence test on the 5th. And I'm not even a Muslim to give an excuse of celebrating Ramzan. And I'm not related to Mahatma Gandhi to celebrate/mourn on Gandhi Jayanti. But I'm sitting at my computer since afternoon, listening to songs.

It's something that's troubling me since a long, long time. I've been feeling lost. Not at peace. Distracted. Due to various events. First the exams. Then, the sports meet. Now, it's, I don't know what.

Obviously, your friends can't be 24* 7 with you. And can't understand you, which is impossible when you yourself can't understand what's going on. I hope I'm making it clear what is happening. But there has been something which has always been there with me. Whenever, wherever I need it.

It's music that's always given me solace.

My sister and I used to play the keyboard. She was a natural at it (Yes, she's picture perfect. A topper who doesn't smoke, booze, drugs nothing, who dances, plays the keyboard, a 5'5 Deepika Padukone in badminton (see she's short, and so it's an advantage. Deepika would be taller than most guys, right?). What more do you want? Oh, she's single, btw.) She used to teach me the Bollywood tunes and we used to bajao it as a duet and our mom used to shed tears of joy.

We stopped it in class 9th or something. I have been thinking about our keyboard since a really long time. Today, I was home, since it was Gandhi Jayanti. Should I play the keyboard? What about the Constitutional Law project? And the test? Would I be able to get a single tune right? Sis wasn't even there to help me out. Sigh.

But I did it. I was off. I got out the dusty keyboard. (Do I sound like those guys in Rock On!!? I'm not intentionally doing it. I'm just replaying what happened.) I cleaned it up, all the time praying that it would work and a mouse hadn't gone inside the keyboard or a lizard hadn't gone in and died or something. The damn adapter didn't work, so I needed batteries. I brought out 3 new batteries, 2 of which were supposed to be used for our T.V. remote. A quick apology to Mom who had gone to a friend's place and I didn't accompany her because I was supposedly busy with my projects. (quickly shrugging off my guilty conscience) I needed 2 more batteries. Another quick apology to Mom, as I raped my T.V. remote and snatched away both its balls,-errr- batteries.

It still didn't work. I was close to tears.
Then, I remembered I was an idiot. I had put the batteries the wrong way, the Einstein I was, as somebody called me. I repaired the damage.
It bloody God damned worked then. A few ping ping pongs sang out as I tried it on. Whoa.

7 years, since I last played any tune.
My first tune, which I learnt was the song "Bholi si surat" from Dil to Pagal Hai.
I tried it. Played it at the 1st attempt without a single mistake.

I simply sat there. The feeling was sinking in. I didn't know what I was feeling.
I tried playing out "Socha Hai" from Rock on!! Tried a few notes here and there. The batteries stopped working and started acting weirdly.
Tried it for a while, then had to give up.

Resolved to get the adapter fixed, when this semester ends, and play the keyboard religiously.
I was finally feeling myself. Things were finally looking up.

Some nice musical quotes:-

If I were to begin life again, I would devote it to music. It is the only cheap and unpunished rapture upon earth. ~Sydney Smith

Without music life would be a mistake. ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. ~Maya Angelou, Gather Together in My Name

You are the music, while the music lasts. ~ T.S. Elliot.

I love music. ~ Madhuri Iyer. And I'm sure this sentiment is shared by all of you, out there.
I had to keep the keyboard on my table after giving it a pat (which my sis and I always did!)
I continued working on my project. But this time, with a smile on my face.

My Desktop Story=My (Current) Love Story

Yes, I know it looks very mess and cluttered.... :-(

This is my first Tag, given by Peter. Since, it was Ranbir's birthday yesterday, that's why this God sent devil is sitting and winking at me from my desktop. I celebrated his birthday by having a black forest pastry (which wasn't that good) and a cappucino and listening to songs from Saawariya and Bachna.... that evening.

Ok, my desktop is a total mess. All that weird things like Adobe Reader and My Network Places and blah blah are taking up one vertical line. Other folders:

1) I have a folder for Cricket wherein I have more than 370 pics of cricketters (all the guys in my batch are jealous of my collection, hahaha)

2) Another folder for my original stories and poems.

3) A folder for pics of my nephew.

4) Another for projects, and other weird law stuff.

5) Another for games i.e. one of the reasons for my depressing g.p.a.

6) Another folder for movies wherein I just have 3 movies.

7) Songs folder.

8) Rock on!! folder, sitting on desktop instead of sitting in Songs folder, I don't know why.

9) A folder called Cutest Guys-My Property (fine, don't mock me) wherein I store pics of non sports player cute guys.

10) Googletalk setup i.e. my lifeline.

I'm tagging Alex Paul, Kunwar, Mishra, Abhinav, Chetan Bhagat (LOL) and Trinaa (i.e if she hasn't done this before) Yeah, fine, I don't have many people to tag. Hmmph!

Aahista Aahista.....Uwayuwayuwayuwayu...

Hua yeh pehli baar...Uwayuwayuwayuwayu...

Mujhe ho gaya hai pyaaaaar....

Random randomness....

Blah blah blah.

1) Our Sports Meet. My batch lost the Batch Championship on the last day. We lost out closely to our immediate juniors- the 2nd yrs. Nevertheless, we are proud of our performance. Maybe, next time...But as they say, Coming second means being first loser. Gah. I hate losing.

2) Due to the above mentioned incident, I fucked up my Civil Procedure Code Test, which was scheduled the next day. I couldn't get an exemption, inspite of being a member of the Organizing Committee. Exemption was given only to the football team and badminton team, who played on the last day (Others who play better than me, were in our badminton team).That's the disadvantage of being the only girl from your batch, and the other guys who are in the Committee, also play football, and get exemption. Gah. Nobody loves me. Adding insult to the injury (knee injury, plus cold, cough, fever), was the football team, who was standing outside our class, throughout the test and smirking at all of us. Anyway, I didn't know anything in the paper, so I was shooting dirty looks at them.

3) My knee doesn't hurt much now (Yay!!), but I got a cold, cough fever (How come this trio always strikes three-gether? I wonder...) I look pale and sick now. Also, my complexion has ruined since I was roaming around in Gandhinagar sun, which has a Ph.d. in sun-burning you. Sigh. I will never, ever, get married now. But, but, I still continued having only ONE cup of coffee daily, despite, the depression and sorrow I was going through.

4) My friend got a sms asking her if she wants to know what her future is: love marriage or arrange marriage? SMS Pyar DOB to some number. Will cross check and put up the correct procedure in my comments section. She showed me this sms, to have a good laugh. That poor girl, does not know me yet. I made her sms my DOB to that number. Those marriage (sex) hungry bureau whatever, charged her 3 rs. for it (that reminds me, I have to pay her for that.) Reply came within minutes.
I got 36% chance of love marriage.
I should remember to be nice to my parents henceforth. What if they arrange my kundali whatever with some bald, fat, hairy (everywhere), man wearing a lungi through which I can see his chaddi colour?
No. I will be nice to my parents henceforth.
Next message was. SMS your partner's name and his DOB to see if you are compatible with him.
No partner. Sigh. My friend giggled. Fine, you have a boyfriend, I don't. Such sadistic pleasure, committed people get, I tell you....And the next minute, they(not referring to my friend. Referring to committed girls, in general, in my college, who's boyfriend is back home) get depressed because they are so, very far, from their boyfriend/s (boyfriend/s refers to those girls who two,three time. One boyfriend in our college, one in the neighbouring college, one back home, etc. etc.) I console them by saying, don't worry, you'll get to fuck him when you go back home. A dirty look is flashed at me. But it works!! They are no more depressed!! Har-Har...

5) 2 projects, 2 tests coming up. I need to study and avoid Brian for a while. (Brian is my blog's name. I need to keep mentioning this, since some whatevers will assume I'm deewani for some Brian)

6) Have to study for my end sems abhi se since Diwali is coming up (which means eating, shopping, bursting crackers, wasting time for a good reason). Have to keep myself updated during the Indo-Aus series, and study at the same time. Which reminds me. I have to talk to my grandparents, before the Ind-Aus series starts. And abuse Ricky Ponting, along with my grandpa.

7) Have to celebrate Ranbir's birthday tomorrow. Remember to eat black forest pastry at Laxmi Bakery, and do "cheers" and say his name and blush.

A mere receipt for money does not amount to a promisory note, even though it might contain the terms of repayment. I need to study Banking and then sleep and rest.
Bye.

And the award goes to......

I suck, with a capital S at all this computer related stuff. Yes, it's hard to believe that, since I'm always hooked onto the computer. I guess I never bothered to learn also.


Anyway, I struggle with my blog specially. The day I created it, I was lost. Two of my posts disappeared in thin air. I did post them. But I don't know what happened then.


Soon, I joined blogging communities and randomnly wrote my blog's link here and there in some threads. Some God sent angels started seeing my blog and commenting. Soon, I actually had a regular bunch of people who "followed" my blog.


Amongst them, is a guy called Peter. Not as hot as Peter Andre, but still, a very much decent substitute. From him, I learnt:

1) That the blog's dress is called a "template" (wow, that word makes me sound so intellectual)
2) That you need to add "gadgets" to make your blog look nicer.
3) That he's too sweet to allow me to copy all his "gadgets".
4) That I needed to change my 1 year old "template". It was brutually stripped off and the i-phone template was thrown in.
5) Never, ever, put a pink "template". Sigh. I still miss it.
6) How to add pics in a blog.

Also, an added bonus for adding him on gtalk. I got:

1) Jal songs
2) Movie reviews
3) Got to hear about some adventurous instincts of guys.
4) Will get help if I need to patao some guy in the future.
5) Company even at 1:31 in the morning when you have your projects smirking at you and the ants running aimlessly on your table.
6) Maybe a new client if he needs to patao some girl.
7) Get to hear about some weird things about cloning and test tube babies which I pretend to understand.

All in all.....

My first award...which goes to Peter (who must be either yawning, since he has already got so many awards or smirking that he has phasaved another stupid blogger into giving him an award)

I hate losing.

I hate losing. Maybe, it's because of the Arien in me. When my grandpa used to teach me and my sis badminton, and I used to lose badly. I would sulk for days, weeks. My sister then started losing on purpose to me. She continued to do it, right from class 7th to now, college 2nd year. When my grandparents and my sister and I used to play carrom, I was the Biggest Loser (Yes, my grandparents were super at it, and my sister was too good...) The rules were bent, in order to avoid me sulking around the place. I was allowed to roam around the whole damn carrom and shoot from any damn place I liked (Stop gaping, I was the stupid spoilt brat of my family!!!)

School. 11-12th class, that is...

My previous school has zilch of sports (Only one fine day, they would announce we had our P.E exam, and next day, we ran races and jumped hurdles and some crap. And get 49/50. And the P.E. sir used to flirt with all the hot girls in my class. While I stood and made fun of his fat belly popping out of his belt.
In my 11-12 class, I finally found out what was God's gift to (wo)mankind.Basketball.Football.Volleyball.Cricket, of course. I sincerely thank my batchmates, who were already in awe of my height, for teaching me basketball. I don't play like a professional player, or something. But yes, I played. Played well. I was my grandfather's granddaughter, after all (He was a big shot basketball and football player. He played in Bombay for a club.) We had some matches against each other. And the side, where I was, used to always win. Always. I was 16, and I still didn't know what it is to lose.

First year.

I came to college and learnt it the hardest way possible. We struggled to make a decent basketball and throwball team for our batch. And we inevitably lost against our seniors. We put up a decent show in the throwball match against our seniors (our very 1st match. I didn't play because I was not supposed to play due to the knee injury, but hell, I can't forget that winning set, ever), but still we lost. The guys played ok. We didn't win anything, major though.

Second year. We lost again, to our seniors in both, basketball and throwball. We didn't learn our lesson. Work as a team. Practice hard. Take time out. The guys too lost in football. Overall, a very disappointing end to the Sports Meet by our batch. Our seniors taunted us terribly throughout the semester and our juniors were too kind to even laugh at our game in front of us.

Third year. We could see the fire in every guy's eyes to win. Practice for football was followed by practice for volleyball. Followed by cricket. They slept in class and suffered attendance shortage. Our pride and prestige was more important than attendance. Again, we girls couldn't form a proper team. I could see and feel the disappointment from the guys side. Though many didn't even tell us anything(I really thank those guys who taunted us. At least it made us feel worse and inspired us to put up a better show next year). We lost the throwball match against our seniors. The lucky loser match (too complicated a concept to explain. Forget it, for now) was between us and the 1st years. It was a 11 point game, between the losers of the previous matches, to decide who reaches the next round.
We lost that, 11-9. I don't remember what happened after that. We realized we lost, and all of us went separate ways. Stunned, shell shocked. I remember, on my way out of the ground, looking at some of my batch guys who were around. They hadn't ever looked sadder. Was this our answer to them practising at 6:30 in the morning?

I guess I was the weakest one. Others were angry and pissed with themselves, they went off. I just stood and cried. On my friend's shoulder. Literally. I had been a part of the basketball team, the previous year, which lost badly. I was disheartened, that time too. But this time, it was horrible. I didn't know what to do, what to think. How did it happen? Somehow, I collected myself. I couldn't recover the whole night. I monotonously went to class the next day. My friends tried to cheer me up. I pretended to be cheered up. But, nothing worked.

I should eat my words. Our guys, played brilliantly, and beat the 5th years in volleyball. We reached the finals, and were up against the 4th years now. We are on the brink of reaching the cricket and football finals too.

That loss helped, in a very positive way. The girls, not only us players, but other girls who haven't even held a ball in their hand, were shook up. Was it because our ego was hurt since we lost to 1st years? Was it because we finally realized we need to practice damn hard? I really don't know. The response was tremendous from the girls. Every single girl, has vowed to practice, right from Day One of the next semester.

In a way, I'm happy I lost. But I hope I never lose again.

p.s- Shall update u on how the guys perform in football,volleyball and cricket. God bless them :-)

Being Madhuri Singh Dhoni

(No, I'm still Madhuri Rahul Dravid!!! But you'll understand the title of the post, after you finish reading the post... )
Obviously, I found MSD cute when he made his debut against Bangladesh on December 24, 2004, although I thought he would have looked better with his hair short, rather than long. Mom rejected her latest son-in-law with a “Look at his hair? Looks mad to me.” and a dirty expression on her face as if he’s from Dharavi slums.

When he hit that sexy 148 at Vishakapatnam and won the man of the match award, Mom was a bit impressed. “He can speak English”, she exclaimed. I referred to my latest crushes list and jotted down.

1) Kinda cute
2) Plays fairly good cricket
3) Decent wicketkeeper
4) Can speak English
5) Nice smile
6) A healthy 7 years of age difference between him and me

And then it happened. The long-haired dude of Indian team became the captain of Twenty20 team. Like, the rest of India, I was skeptical whether we would win the cup.
“What if we win the Cup?” I asked mom, as I usually ask her whenever any Champions Trophy, World Cup, Asia Cup etc. happen. She usually gives saracastic answers in reply.Can't remember any example.
I’m still kicking myself for forgetting what she gave in reply.

His next appearance was in the newspapers. With a new hair-cut. WOW.
Cutting a long story short, I was totally into him then. Mom’s smile whenever Dhoni appeared on the television, ensured Dhoni’s place as her new son-in-law was still alive.

There’s something about that guy which makes me admire him a lot. The emotionless, the ice-cool nature. Which I have started implanting in myself, recently.
I used to be very very very short tempered in school, and in my 1st and 2nd year of college. Never thought a damn who the opponent was, be it my best friend, my parents, my enemies, all received the same treatment. Shout, yell, abuse, walk off, bang a few things here and there, and well, in some cases, hurt the person physically and walk away.
Then came, 3rd year. Ganguly and Dravid were kicked out (I prefer saying that, rather than dropped. It sounds more meaningful, you know) because Dhoni and the selectors and Gary Kirsten wanted a youth-oriented team. Valid reason, but I was among those sensible cricket fanatics (what an oxymoron!)who thought there should have been a rotation policy. Make the seniors play 1-2 games and then rest them. But you can't kick them out, just to get young kids into the side, one fine day. Maybe, we Indians are just too sentimental. Chucking, the emotional crap. We won the Tri-series in Australia for the first time in history. No use complaining and protesting then, thought every cricket fanatic.
Proves that a captain has to be emotionless. People (Not us cricket fanatics, but the masses, the common folk, the mere mortals, I may sound arrogant, but I prefer keeping it that way) claimed Dhoni kicked the two seniors out of the team so that he could dominate the ODI team without any senior poking his nose. And Dhoni couldn’t have the balls to kick out Sachin, because Sachin is, well, Sachin.
The point of this whole post is, the angry young girl that I was, has started becoming indifferent. Emotionless. I hardly freak out over anything that happens now (except when dogs are nearby, I’m still trying not to be scared of dogs, heavens help me) But it’s great being indifferent. Without freaking out over any damn thing. It doesn’t pinch you at all. And it irritates the other person, which is the best part. Feels something like Gandhigiri, must admit. Indifferent to all the girly nakhras of “My kajal isn’t fine and I have a date with him” or “I have put oil in my hair so I can’t come to the mess for breakfast”. Indifferent to all the boys who put me down all the time. No reaction to the all the taunts showered upon South Indians, cricketers I admire (because I arrogantly believe they are made by the mere mortals who don’t know a shit about cricket). And of course, put on indifference when there is talk about my sister or my grandparents. *choked throat*

And I’m doing a great job. I never knew I had so much patience. And it’s coming naturally now. No longer put-on. How ?
Only wish MSD had come on to the scene before. The angry young girl wouldn’t have kicked so many asses (literally) in her temper then.

p.s- Haven’t referred to only my friend’s circle in the above example. It might just be you, that I’m referring to. Watch out what you say. I won’t react but I’ll just end up putting it on my blog. I’m so evil, I know it….
I wonder why I never bothered to inculcate Dravid’s patience into me. Would have saved a lot of energy, blood pressure rising, and of course, many people’s asses.

What my name means

Thanks to my fellow blogger (are female bloggers called bloggeri?) Mayuri-http://mayuri-lifeasweknowit.blogspot.com/ (oye, I publicize your blog, be happy, girl...)
I found this link and found out what my name means.
And wow. I seem to be perfect. I thank my parents for giving me such an amazing name...

What Madhuri Means

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

I enter the class, I sit and I see...

I'm usually this punctual kind of person unless:-

1) I oversleep because I forgot to put an alarm on my cell

2) I accidentally put if off and go back to sleep

3) I accidentally-on-purpose put it off and go back to sleep

4) I pretend I'm sick

5) I really end up being sick then (Every bitch has her day. Sigh)



So, I'm usually punctual. Even if it means arriving to college 7 mins before class starts (That's pretty decent. And it's enough time to gobble down 2 sandwiches. Without cheese, of course. Iniviting the mess wala's smirk when I shout, I want the dammed sandwich without cheese, of course) I come to class and my bench partner and my friend who's a 1st bencher (and who wants to bring me there and spoil me. Gah! With friends like this, who needs enemies) both haven't come yet. My bench partner is a full time late comer (she'll kill me for this. HAHA. At least I didn't name her. But anyway, all my batchmates who are reading this, will obviously know who she is.Muhahahahaha) And the 1st bencher runs in during the attendance or some seconds before the attendance starts....



I'm bored, even before the class starts. So what do I do ? I look around. Notice what everyone is upto. I was just telling my 1st bencher friend on gtalk about what I notice. And she was going all LMAO, ROFL and LOL at it. Of course, I remember my blog, my dear Brian(My blog's name is Brian-for all the newbies on my blog--who has started talking to me again after I removed the pink template of his blog) Why not scandalize/impress/frighten him and my poor readers with my observations? I'm so evil, muhuhahahaha. My batchmates are gonna kill me, for sure. Please pray that my soul rests in peace in case I don't post anymore after this one....

I come to class and immediately message whichever class is going on to the 1st bencher and my bench mate, so that they can hurry up or whatever, according to the lecture going on. Then, I start. Noticing....

1) I begin with my first bencher friend's reaction. Since she inspired me into writing this post. Muhuhaha. She'll hate herself. Or me. Or both.

Enters with huge, long steps, but not actually running. She's so whatever. Won't run, won't allow me to run too. Gah. How lady like can she get. Enters and raises her eyebrows slightly when she first sees the lecturer. Looks down, walks to the first bench, keeps her books (her back is to the lecturer then) grits her teeth harrrrrrdddddd, then rolls her eyes in a semi circle (that is bring it up half way then it comes down again. Maybe she doesn't know how to roll her eyes properly) Blinks very sleepily and sits down. AND STARTS TAKING NOTES. Dammit. With occasional sudden grins at me at the back (that is when she's not messaging me. She's good at messaging sitting right on the 1st bench) And it's left to my interpretation whether she's happy because of something I said, or did or she's happy because her bf messaged some senti message (Gah. It's so easy to tolerate classes when your cute bf keeps messaging u.)


2) My bench partner. Who recently got up at 6:30 and STILL came 5 minutes late to our class which starts at 9 :-)

She runs right from when the bus stops in front of the college gate (I know it, because on the occasional times when I've come late, she has always been at my side. Hahahahaha, that sounds so cheesy) I wonder how she can run on those heels of hers. Also, I wonder why she claims she's not athletic when she's so quick at running. Gah. Girls. I fail to understand them(us, whatever). She runs from the gate, through the lawn, up the steps, down the steps (Be in my college to understand how the process goes) and makes a sharp right turn, runs straight ahead, a sharp left turn, a sudden break when she reaches the entrance of the class. She looks harassed and immediately straightens her curly hair (which are already in place, don't know why she still bothers) She grins, as she sees me and comes over to the back.

"Is attendance over?" That's the way she greets me every morning.


Now, the reactions of the rest of my batchmates....

3) This guy...who drags his feet, slowly, very very much irritated and frustrated. Goes like "Arre yaar" at whichever faculty is there. The frown never leaves his face. He badly needs to hear my PJs, you know.


4) This girl. Enters with a huge smile but notice, her eyes flash a fiery look at the lecturer. The kajal on her eyes adds to the dramatic effect.

5) This guy. Starts off with "Arre ch_____ subah subah isse hi aana tha kya? Arre yaar attendance bhi nahi milega. Arre ch____ miss call nahi de sakta tha kya, m.c ?" I mean, loads of guys do it. Hilarious it is as well as fascinating to hear 10 abuse words in one sentence.

6) The previous point was our regular desi gang. Then comes the hi-fi gang.
"Fuck man, I missed my attendance. I missed the fucking bus by one fucking moment. That driver, son of a ____, couldn't he have waited for one fucking second, I could have caught the fucking bus on time? i didn't even fucking have breakfast." A dramatic pause. "I'm so fucking hungry." Conclusion. "Fuck man."

Okay, if you insist.

7) The rest of us, have an indifferent expression to every lecturer. We prefer it that way. Live and let live, you know.

NOTE:- I'm not defaming my lecturers or my batchmates in this post. It's simply meant in light humour. No offence meant at all. I'm as usual kidding around. Sincere apologies to those who took it in a serious manner.

Tum anjaane hi thik the.

The smile in your eyes,

The charm in your talk,

The sweetness in your spice,

The ease in your walk,

The mood from low to high,

The love behind the angry glare,

The laugh behind your cry,

The awkward glance in your stare,

The kid in your office suit,

The handsome man in ganji-shorts,

The blabbermouth when you're mute,

The lame pics for which you have the hots,

The 'I need you' in your 'get lost',

My uncombed hair which you ruffle with glee,

The responsibility you take for my cost,

The sadness, in my wink, you can see,

The problem of mine becomes a solution,

My simple sniff also like a major disease,

My cruel words also like a love potion,

Every argument, debate, fight, you inevitably cease,

Even when things are perfect, things can go wrong,

This is bloody fiction, hope you enjoyed this song! :P

P.S- YAAR, you have no idea how much I'm expecting from Anjaana Anjaani. BETTER BE AWESOME!! :D :D :D

And finally, I get to talk.

I don't know why Madhuri created me.She never told me why I was born.When she wrote my first post, she was cursing badly and muttering "Oh dammit" every 5 minutes. She was lost while finding out, how to post, how to change the font etc. Btw, my Happy Birthday is on July 20th, 2007. And I'm christened Brian.She wrote my first post, pretty quickly. I winced as she added some abuses here and there. She struggled to select a designer outfit, what you people call templates, for me. She wanted something in pink, it seemed. I kept my keys-fingers, crossed. What would the other blogs tell me if I was dressed in shocking pink? I would become the biggest PJ, at least on blogger's world. Other blogs would have taken revenge on me for all the PJs that Madhuri has cracked on the pitiable souls around her. She held the distinction of permanently cracking their brains while they banged their heads against the walls, after listening to the PJs, each sadder than the previous one. Thank the Lord above, for not giving Madhuri enough brains to find a pink template.....

She loved me a lot. Everyday, when she returned from college, she would open me excitedly. (Errr...no. Just click and open. Don't think too much) She would sigh sorrowfully. Doesn't anyone like Brian? She wrote another post and waited. Another post, yet again, and waited. But nobody commented. She was angry. Aghast. Furious. She felt bad for me. I was not accepted in this blogger's world as soon as I was born. She did something behind my back.(which of course I found out, considering I'm as good as Madhuri at having spy networks everywhere) She threatened some of her friends to read it and comment or she'll bash them up. Of course, the frightened souls commented on the posts then. All the posts, mind well. Hehe.

Not many admirers, but still, I was steadily growing up. People started commenting on my posts, without Madhuri having to twist their hands. A little more than a year has passed since I was born. One year young, and Madhuri and I are the best of buddies. The smile that comes on her face when I'm appreciated, brings tears to my virtual eyes. She became a bit smarter. She started posting my link on various blogging communities. Soon, more and more people visited me. Madhuri's college mates visited me too. Many didn't bother to post a comment or even bother to tell Madhuri if her posts are good or not (I don't blame them, specially the guys, since she brutually rapes their image out here!) P.s- They are not bad at all. Many other blog visitors drop in, and leave without a word. Madhuri emotionally blackmails people, which makes them go all senti usually and comment a few humble lines. (Trust a senti, emotional fool to trap other's into her plot...Gah!!)
I should be going. I have talked too much. Time for her to take over. See you on my next birthday....!! (As if she'll let me have a word before that!!)

Groan-ups. The Dad Jokes

I got this idea for a post from Reader's Digest. Yes, yes, I give them the credit. It's about Dad Jokes. All of us children would be familiar with them. First the joke is cracked. Mom smiles appreciatively. My sis and I raise my eyebrows questioningly asking whether that was a joke. Mom shoots a glare. It obviously worked, as sis and I laugh out loud in typical LOL style. They are the Dad Jokes. Maybe I'm doing a sad job explaining them. I'll show you some examples. My sis and I started noting down (Literally noting down. Though in our generation, literally 'typing' them down on the cell phone, so that we remember all of them. This blog post was plotted since some 2-3 months. Muhuhahaha.)

1) The family went to Allen Solly for shopping for formal clothes for my sister before she left abroad. Dad looks at Allen Solly's board outside the shop and turns to me and Lavs.
"If Allen Solly doesn't have the clothes we want, what will they say?"
He knows we both are dumb, so he won't wait for an answer.
He shows his 100 watt smile. "Solly, we don't have it."
Lavs and I manage a warm, fake smile while mom laughs dutifully.

2) Whenever I see Dhoni, Dravid, Zaheer's pics on billboards, outside Reebok showroom, or Sonata showroom or whatever, I announce "Dhoniiiii" or "Draviiiiiiid" joyfully.
So, I see Dhoni's photo endorsing Sonata watches on the back of a bus. Dad, Lavs and I were in the car behind the bus. I squealled "Dhoniiiii" as usual. My sis remained indifferent. Dad stares at MSD smiling casually back at him. I shrank back into the back seat, expecting a Dad joke coming.
The wisecrack- "Dhoni used to hang out of the buses when he was young. And he still hangs out of the buses when he's famous."

3) I entertain Dad by telling him about the smokers, drinkers, dopers of my batch, plus the girly bitching that happens, plus some of the spicy news about the hostels. In short, I tell my parents and sister about every single damn thing that happens in my college, specially my batch, lol. (My batch will hate me, after reading this) So, I was telling Dad about a smoker who's roomie is a non-smoker. So the non smoker was cribbing to some of us about his smoker roomie.
Dad's eyes light up. Shit, I realized the volcano was going to burst. I continued babbling on with the story, but Alas, Dad was too quick. He interrupted me.
"The non smoker didn't smoke, so he fumed"

4) My sister was waiting for her i-20 (an all important document which comes from colleges abroad, as proof that you've got admission there) So one fine day, she was going with Dad for some document work. My sis, jobless as usual, thoughtfully asks Dad, "Why is i-20 called i-20?"
Dad's eyes glint evilly. My sis, the topper, the gold medalist, the girl who robs all the certificates of intelligence, had invited a Dad Joke.
"Because of the T-20 format."
Hahahahaha, he roars loudly.

5) I was talking about my college friend Joyeeta. Well, she was short on cash, so I had lent her some money. I don't know why, but somehow, that topic came up and I chattered on about Joyeeta being broke during exam time. All of us are always broke during exam time, weird it was. I continued giving a speech on Joyeeta. I mentioned about her mom working in State Bank of India. Dad clears his throat.
I didn't bother to freak out. I was immune to the jokes, I guess.
"Her mom works in a bank, that's why she's in debt."

Now, you know where my (??)sense of humour(??) comes from....Oh, let me start taking down some of those Mom Jokes too.....

Agony Aunt's agony(ies)

I had written in an earlier post that I'll elaborate on my profession as an Agony Aunt.

Disclaimer:- It's all confidential shit, so I might just change a few things here and there, for my own safety. Even if I let out everything over here, my clients won't mind:- They'll still trust me and come to me for advice. Sigh. At least I know I have a back up career, when I go to Dharavi slums. I don't mean to insult them or something. They know I don't like it, anyways.

1) The usual boyfriend girlfriend spats. I start off by explaining that I shouldn't interfere. They cut me off by giving me injured looks. Errr...Ok, I try to repair the damage. I say, ok I'll give you some advice...but don't blame me if it doesn't work out. They nod wisely and sincerely. What happens the next day? An angry finger pointed accusingly at me (they don't dare point the middle one) and a frown on the face, a few 'you're so stupid.....a total idiot...' thrown at me. She's back to the depressing world where she can see only that pig's face everywhere. Duh. And she still continues to ask me for advice? I mean. Wow. I don't know whether I should be in awe of her or myself.

2) Homesick. And then sarcastic taunts about me being a localite. Hey dude. My homes are in Mumbai and Chennai. And I hardly get to go there because I'm chained to Gujju land. Duh...I don't tell my friends that I'm going home-to Ahmedabad- because they would feel bad and homesick. They just give a sarcastic laugh and say I'm doing nautanki. Duh, there are still some genuine, nice people in our college, man. Though, I doubt how long I will remain this way....

3) Marks. A got more marks, even though I studied more than A. Why??????? I did study, I know I did. Still I got so less. Dude, I'm no topper myself. But cribbing won't help, right? I sit down and encourage them to conquer the world in the next exam. I wish I could practice what I preach, hmm.

4) I don't have many guys as my clients, because:-
i) I'm a tomboy.
ii) I'm not a girl.
ii) I'm more bold than most of the guys in my college (Hahahaha)
iv) But I still don't understand why they aren't my clients.

5) I'm not allowed to be depressed. My worries are supposedly minimal compared to their agonies. India lost a match? They are 1 down in the series? They flash a completely indifferent look at me. Their eyes bulge out when they realize their shoes don't go with their outfit. Naturally, yours truly has to convince them that it's perfectly fine and the guy will be busy looking at your sexy legs rather than noticing the shoes.

6) Why the fuck do they comment about cricket when they don't know a shit about it? They claim statistics don't matter, when I recite some statistics to them. Duh, get a life. I don't know about your make up shit, so I don't say a word about it. Go away.

Err. I just realized I can't continue the post. Better to be safe than sorry. I need friends to survive in this madhouse for the next 3 years (Groan, 3 more years?)....

Note:- I am NOT insulting anyone in my college. It's MY Agony, I'm talking about. It's not YOU I'm referring to. I'm referring to the MASSES. You CANNOT sue me for this.

My Updates

1) My hair cut was a hit in my college. Although some guys weren't happy because they prefer long hair. Like I cared what those pigs thought. Anyway, for the first time, my hair cut got rave reviews. Long live the lady who cut it.
2) My sis is doing well. Happy happy. Am sure she must have found some hot firanga in her class.
3) I have not still got my midsem results. Hence, I'm still alive and kicking.
4) I watched Rock on!! It's super awesome. Although, many pigs (yes, boys) did not like it. Apparently, it's a 'mix' of Dil Chahta Hai and Jhankaar Beats. My review:- Farhan Akhtar is the hottest thing walking on earth right now. He should be jailed for being so intoxicatingly seductive. Why why why? Why didn't I work as Bani in Kasam Se? I would have got a role opposite him in Rock on!!(I love those 2 exclamation marks!!) then. He would have given me that loving, checking out look. I wonder how many retakes must have been taken......I will refrain from elaborating since my mom reads my blog too. She's sick and tired of her son-in-law's position changing every now and then. I don't blame her. It's hard to keep track myself. Oh yes, Arjun Rampal's super cool too. So are Luke and Purab.
5) Ronaldo is staying back with Manchester United. But I'm not happy. I hate hypocrites.
6) I'm drinking 2 cups of coffee. Complexion seems decent.
7) I haven't lost any more weight after exams. Yay!!!
8) People of my college have started admitting they read my blog !! They claim it's really nice!! Yay!! Sweet of the pigs to compliment me even though I call them pigs..... For the first time, I've done something good for my college. See, there's more to me, even though I can't get a magical c.g.pa and I don't manage to answer in class (How does the faculty manage to ask me a question when I'm day dreaming? I mean, what timing....) and I suck at law.
9) Virat Kohli played well. Yay!! He's so cute. And India won the series (finally). Jai Dhoni...

That's it for now.

Aftermath of a hair cut

I always have been in a habit of experimenting with my hair. So, I continued the trend when I came to GNLU too. I discovered GNLUites, thought they have already become lawyers; hence they started exercising their freedom of speech and expression more than they actually should. Every semester, GNLUites are on a lookout. What hair cut was Madhuri going to do this time? They refer their notes on 101 dirty, sarcastic comments to make on Madhuri's hair cut.

First question. Did you cut your hair?
10 quick abuses under 4 seconds ranted on quickly in my mind, I raise my eyebrow in my usual know-it-all manner. No man, I had a serious case of hair fall. To which, the questioner actually says "Hmmm" which invited 10 more abuses. To fall into your own sarcastic ditch is the worst thing can happen to any bitch (It rhymes, that's why I am referring to myself as a bitch)
I control my temper and say, "Yup"

Second question. Why did you cut your hair?
Errr. Even after so many years of having hair cuts, I have not thought of a sarcastic reply to that question. See, I grow my hair long, then I'm bored. So I cut it short. Then I'm bored with short, so I grow it long. It's not as if I've gone bald one fine day, right? And why are you worried? It's not as if my hair won't ever grow back.
My lame reply. A simple shrug and a smile.

Now the reaction(s).
1) A laugh. Followed by another laugh. Followed by another louder laugh. Followed by everyone staring and looking for the joker. Followed by everyone noticing the joker. Followed by the entire place howling madly with laughter. And then, there is no one who can stop me from abusing left, right, centre and walking off in a rage.

2) A fake smile and a "Hey, that looks great." And eyes which say, "I can't wait to tell XYZ about this disasterous hair cut."

3) The worst people who keep on and on about it. Why did you do it? You know you look like a psycho? You know you look like a witch? You know you look horrible?

And do you know I might just punch you in that place where it hurts the most if you continue talking like that? I so wish the Constitution of India barred Freedom of speech and expression as our Fundamental Right.

4) Everyone staring. Whispering among themselves. Staring more. And staring again. Noticing I'm staring back at them. But they don't stop. These are those people who don't have the guts (I could have used another word for that, but I sympathize with those people who don't have it...) to come up to me and give me their reviews on the hair cut. Better safe than sorry, the statutory warning that hangs above my head, specially when I'm angry.

5) First all the dirty comments on my hair cut. I answer back with a Thank you since I'm taught to be good to bad people even. With widened eyes, they reply, in a louder tone.
"Hey, that was not a compliment, I mean whatever I said, it looks horrible"
Fuck you, man.

6) It looks nice.
Hey, that sounds genuine !!!!!!

7 Reasons why my life is a mess now.

(I'm not usually a cribbing kind of person. But I need to vent out my anger and irritation somewhere. Why not my blog? Anyway, even if I complain about the particular people, and they read and understand it's about themselves in my blog, they can't say anything. Because that's proof that they read my blog. Hah. I know my logical reasoning, I can become a top notch lawyer now, yay!!!!

Am I boring you with my constant cribbing and complaining that I don't fit into my jeans? Or that I want Ranbir Kapoor right here right now? Or that the boys in my college are the most irritating, chauvinstic, pigs roaming around? Or that stopping myself from abusing every minute is killing me day and night ? Or that everyone around me irritates me by stabbing the tomboy in me ? Or that the so called nice, sweet, dainty girls in college who walk so slowly and have a stupid smile 24*7 on their faces while they take their food slowly in the queue? And not to forget the stupid, foolish, idiot guys who follow them like dogs on a leash, and walk equally slowly. Behind the girl, of course. Aargh. Useless, irritating, foolish, dumb, idiots all around me.

Seven reasons why my life is a mess now.

1) My laptop is fucked up and it refuses to play Khuda Jaane from Bachna ae hasseno ko. I listen to that song for minimum 10 times a day, and now it stops playing out of the blue.

2) Both my exams sucked. First was Banking and Negotiable Instruments Act,1881 (You got lost reciting the name of the subject itself, didn't you? Think about my condition. Mugging the sections under the Act, actual concept of the Banker-Customer Relationship, mugging the case laws, no, no, you can't even dare to write Kumar v. State of West Bengal instead of Sukumar v. State.) I did study for Banking. I really did study. I didn't go online. I didn't watch Olympics on t.v. or news on the internet. I didn't even talk to my parents, man. Then why? Mom works in a bank. And her daughter ended up screwing Banking law paper. Don't be surprised if you see me shifting to Dharavi Slums in Mumbai after this semester ends. Wonder if they'll have internet connection in Dharavi Slums?
Second was Constitutional Law-3. I did study. I only went online for 15 mins in which I Gtalked with a friend, checked orkut, checked facebook, read Olympics news, checked hotmail,(My sister's mail has come finally, and guess what? It refused to open. Fuck http://www.hotmail.com/) All in 15 minutes. I even paid attention in class. (First bench, taking down notes, clinging on to every word what Sir says. Only once in a while messaging or talking to whoever's next to me. And no staring into space at all !!!!) And still the exam was just ok ok. That's it. My C.G.P.A had already gone to the dogs. Now even the dogs wouldn't want it.

3) I have like, 4 coffees a day. (and night, considering it's exam time) My complexion which had become a little decent is back to square one now. I've lost all hope of getting Ranbir Kapoor now.

4) I'm the Official Agony Aunt in my college. Will write in details in my next post (without taking my client's names, of course..)

5) People in my college accusingly ask me why I'm smiling after an exam. Yes, I have screwed up as badly as you guys, but I'm not the one who has a Ph.d. in cribbing. Duh !!!! Someone teach them to be see the silver lining in the dark cloud or whatever.....

6) My friend (a guy, if you must know) does not get tired of being sarcastic to my indecisiveness. What are you going to do with your life? The conversation begins with this question. The excessive smileys I ping to change the topic does not help. See, it's difficult being over ambitious and asking to choose one. It's like asking guys to choose between Angelina Jolie and Katrina Kaif. See the dilemna?

So, I get my B.A.L.L.B degree in 2011 (hopefully). The career options I have in mind are:-
a) Masters in Journalism. Chuck law forever, muhuhahaha. Then I'll get a job through placements. Maybe I'll get to interview Ranbir Kapoor and con him into getting married to me.
b) L.L.M in Sports Law (But I read the course curriculm in some firang university. It's all law. Shitty shitty shitty law. Where the heck is the sports in it? Ok, I'm over reacting, without knowing the actual crux of the matter. Anyhow, this option is almost out, though)
c)M.B.A (*blank* Ya, ya and then go into sports management. Howzzat?)
d) Stay in Dharavi Slums and stare into space.
e) Continue writing my blog and be the oldest woman ever to have a blog (There was a newspaper article on the oldest woman to have a blog. She died at some 100+) I'll at least be famous after I die then, hmmm. My grandchildren(i.e. if I get married) won't think I'm the laziest grandmother ever, then, Yay!!)

7) The main reason why my life is so shitty. I was supposed to sleep at 1 and get up at 3:30 and start studying for Evidence paper. And it's already 2 now. Yay!!

Even if you don't want to comment on my blog, the least you can do is to pray that I clear my exams.

Regards.