I always have been in a habit of experimenting with my hair. So, I continued the trend when I came to GNLU too. I discovered GNLUites, thought they have already become lawyers; hence they started exercising their freedom of speech and expression more than they actually should. Every semester, GNLUites are on a lookout. What hair cut was Madhuri going to do this time? They refer their notes on 101 dirty, sarcastic comments to make on Madhuri's hair cut.
First question. Did you cut your hair?
10 quick abuses under 4 seconds ranted on quickly in my mind, I raise my eyebrow in my usual know-it-all manner. No man, I had a serious case of hair fall. To which, the questioner actually says "Hmmm" which invited 10 more abuses. To fall into your own sarcastic ditch is the worst thing can happen to any bitch (It rhymes, that's why I am referring to myself as a bitch)
I control my temper and say, "Yup"
Second question. Why did you cut your hair?
Errr. Even after so many years of having hair cuts, I have not thought of a sarcastic reply to that question. See, I grow my hair long, then I'm bored. So I cut it short. Then I'm bored with short, so I grow it long. It's not as if I've gone bald one fine day, right? And why are you worried? It's not as if my hair won't ever grow back.
My lame reply. A simple shrug and a smile.
Now the reaction(s).
1) A laugh. Followed by another laugh. Followed by another louder laugh. Followed by everyone staring and looking for the joker. Followed by everyone noticing the joker. Followed by the entire place howling madly with laughter. And then, there is no one who can stop me from abusing left, right, centre and walking off in a rage.
2) A fake smile and a "Hey, that looks great." And eyes which say, "I can't wait to tell XYZ about this disasterous hair cut."
3) The worst people who keep on and on about it. Why did you do it? You know you look like a psycho? You know you look like a witch? You know you look horrible?
And do you know I might just punch you in that place where it hurts the most if you continue talking like that? I so wish the Constitution of India barred Freedom of speech and expression as our Fundamental Right.
4) Everyone staring. Whispering among themselves. Staring more. And staring again. Noticing I'm staring back at them. But they don't stop. These are those people who don't have the guts (I could have used another word for that, but I sympathize with those people who don't have it...) to come up to me and give me their reviews on the hair cut. Better safe than sorry, the statutory warning that hangs above my head, specially when I'm angry.
5) First all the dirty comments on my hair cut. I answer back with a Thank you since I'm taught to be good to bad people even. With widened eyes, they reply, in a louder tone.
"Hey, that was not a compliment, I mean whatever I said, it looks horrible"
Fuck you, man.
6) It looks nice.
Hey, that sounds genuine !!!!!!