Friday, September 19, 2008

I hate losing.

I hate losing. Maybe, it's because of the Arien in me. When my grandpa used to teach me and my sis badminton, and I used to lose badly. I would sulk for days, weeks. My sister then started losing on purpose to me. She continued to do it, right from class 7th to now, college 2nd year. When my grandparents and my sister and I used to play carrom, I was the Biggest Loser (Yes, my grandparents were super at it, and my sister was too good...) The rules were bent, in order to avoid me sulking around the place. I was allowed to roam around the whole damn carrom and shoot from any damn place I liked (Stop gaping, I was the stupid spoilt brat of my family!!!)

School. 11-12th class, that is...

My previous school has zilch of sports (Only one fine day, they would announce we had our P.E exam, and next day, we ran races and jumped hurdles and some crap. And get 49/50. And the P.E. sir used to flirt with all the hot girls in my class. While I stood and made fun of his fat belly popping out of his belt.
In my 11-12 class, I finally found out what was God's gift to (wo)mankind.Basketball.Football.Volleyball.Cricket, of course. I sincerely thank my batchmates, who were already in awe of my height, for teaching me basketball. I don't play like a professional player, or something. But yes, I played. Played well. I was my grandfather's granddaughter, after all (He was a big shot basketball and football player. He played in Bombay for a club.) We had some matches against each other. And the side, where I was, used to always win. Always. I was 16, and I still didn't know what it is to lose.

First year.

I came to college and learnt it the hardest way possible. We struggled to make a decent basketball and throwball team for our batch. And we inevitably lost against our seniors. We put up a decent show in the throwball match against our seniors (our very 1st match. I didn't play because I was not supposed to play due to the knee injury, but hell, I can't forget that winning set, ever), but still we lost. The guys played ok. We didn't win anything, major though.

Second year. We lost again, to our seniors in both, basketball and throwball. We didn't learn our lesson. Work as a team. Practice hard. Take time out. The guys too lost in football. Overall, a very disappointing end to the Sports Meet by our batch. Our seniors taunted us terribly throughout the semester and our juniors were too kind to even laugh at our game in front of us.

Third year. We could see the fire in every guy's eyes to win. Practice for football was followed by practice for volleyball. Followed by cricket. They slept in class and suffered attendance shortage. Our pride and prestige was more important than attendance. Again, we girls couldn't form a proper team. I could see and feel the disappointment from the guys side. Though many didn't even tell us anything(I really thank those guys who taunted us. At least it made us feel worse and inspired us to put up a better show next year). We lost the throwball match against our seniors. The lucky loser match (too complicated a concept to explain. Forget it, for now) was between us and the 1st years. It was a 11 point game, between the losers of the previous matches, to decide who reaches the next round.
We lost that, 11-9. I don't remember what happened after that. We realized we lost, and all of us went separate ways. Stunned, shell shocked. I remember, on my way out of the ground, looking at some of my batch guys who were around. They hadn't ever looked sadder. Was this our answer to them practising at 6:30 in the morning?

I guess I was the weakest one. Others were angry and pissed with themselves, they went off. I just stood and cried. On my friend's shoulder. Literally. I had been a part of the basketball team, the previous year, which lost badly. I was disheartened, that time too. But this time, it was horrible. I didn't know what to do, what to think. How did it happen? Somehow, I collected myself. I couldn't recover the whole night. I monotonously went to class the next day. My friends tried to cheer me up. I pretended to be cheered up. But, nothing worked.

I should eat my words. Our guys, played brilliantly, and beat the 5th years in volleyball. We reached the finals, and were up against the 4th years now. We are on the brink of reaching the cricket and football finals too.

That loss helped, in a very positive way. The girls, not only us players, but other girls who haven't even held a ball in their hand, were shook up. Was it because our ego was hurt since we lost to 1st years? Was it because we finally realized we need to practice damn hard? I really don't know. The response was tremendous from the girls. Every single girl, has vowed to practice, right from Day One of the next semester.

In a way, I'm happy I lost. But I hope I never lose again.

p.s- Shall update u on how the guys perform in football,volleyball and cricket. God bless them :-)


peter said...

well I knw how it feels to loose when u put in effort and loose ..jus in the last sem it happend wid me i lost in Chess in the semi finals ..tho i am gud at it (ahem ahem) as it is in my genes and my father is a champion in this department bagging so many trophies.

and same case wen i was a kid & my bro used to play carrom so nicely as he was a carrom champ of the collg too.
how I used to hate them and used to cheat ...not a single time i remember wen i defeated them ..!!

I also hate loosing when I put my best...

nice post there :P

Mads said...

@peter :-) ur dad must be realllllllly smart...chess champion :O :O

peter said...

check out u have been tagged :P

Nidhi said...


Lavanya said...

oye..since wen did i bcm gud at carrom?
i seem to rmbr vaguely the time arun anna thrashed us at carrom :O :(
r u still playin badminton?
oh btw, one lady at d food court is just 4'10 tall n her name is..DORA (emon!)
maannno ya na maaaaaano...titli ban udooooooo! aa aa aa...yaaaaa elli caap taa

Mads said...

:| u were always good at carrom...except that arun anna hurricane which swept us away :O :(

doraaaaaaa 4'10 sweetness :O :O :D eat more, eat more..thatha sent her to make u fat there :-)

Mads said...

@peter thank u :-) finally i got my right!!!

@nidhi..yessssss !!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

A perfectly chauvinistic approach of existing though,but since you said you are a tennis (a.k.a Federer fan ) and now that you said you like Nirmal shekhar's article- I could not resist providing you with the very best of his article

Abhinav said...

wow.. you seem to be a true sporty kind of girl..! very nice..!
keep the confidence up! always!


Mads said...

@abhinav.. thanku.. :-)

alex paul k said...

i cud relate so well,ur passion 4 sports & dat desire 2 do well was neatly articulated

though i wud say losing in a physically & mentally drainin game like bb can suck d sports(wo)man out f u i wud stil differ with yo views on losing in general

to me d greatest virtue u gain frm team sport s dat u learn nt 2 b selfish

f d whole team can get back 2gthr n hav a laugh abt wat happened in d ground aftr losin a match i wud say frm my personal xperience dat it gives u a high which winning a trophy wudnt match which un4tunately dint happen in yo case

winning s important bt most times losing makes u richer

Mads said...

@ does make u richer, i agree..its nice to see the team stick to each other..although there are some elements who play the blame game and blame each other on not passing and stuff like that..but during our next practice session, we always hv a laugh n start all over again...

but unfortunately, in our case, immediately when we lose, everyone's pissed n just walk away...i simply hate when that happens...hate it...i cried simply coz of that, i guess..dunno...its just too sucking...