This has got to be one of my best bus trips ever. No, I didn't go to Shimla or Nainital with some hot guy. This was a simple bus trip from my college to my hostel which lasted for 10-15 mins.How can I forget the wackiest conversation we ever had in the bus....
Characters(pun intended) in the bus:
1)The protagonist (ME) *drumroll*
2)My female partner in crime. My first bencher friend whom we shall call 'FB'.
3)The female who's already pink cheeks turned red with embarassment. My bench partner whom we shall call 'BP'.
4)The junior(girl) who was caught in the middle of it all. Literally. Whom we shall call 'J'.
5) Loads and loads of irritated, frustrated, angry, pissed, sad, depressed, seniors, juniors, sub-juniors, batchmates around....
It was around 7ish when BP, FB, J and I were yapping away and coming to the bus to go back to the hostel. FB, BP and I had just watched our senior's moot(Go to wikipedia.org for the meaning, I'm too bored to elaborate). While we were getting into the bus, FB and BP were telling J about my exclusive MJ's (Madhuri Jokes- I don't make up all the jokes myself, btw) and J was fascinated and wanted to hear more. And I complied with her request....
Me- (with a superior look)- What do you call a Maruti Car from which petrol leaks?
J-(sniggering)- Leaking car.
FB- (laughing out in typical LOL style) She, seriously, has a loud laugh.
Others in the bus turn around. Coincidentally, we all were sitting at the back. Me and BP were in one row and J was standing in between me and FB who was in the next row.
J- I give up. Tell naa!!
Me-(smiling in ':D smiley' fashion)- Maruti 'susu'ki !
The junior in front of me and BP laughed in LOL style. FB LOL'd again even though she had heard (suffered) the joke with which I had started my career of torturing people with my jokes.
J-ohhhhhhhh. (What a diplomatic reaction!)
Me- (the idiot, nincompoop that I am, announce loudly)- Hey, FB, rape wala joke batau J ko?
Naturally, everyone looks back in fascination. Notice, how people's eyes light up at the sound of hearing a joke on sex or rape, even when they complain they don't want to hear. Heeheehee...
BP tries to hide her face.
FB (shouting again. She is an idiot. That's why naturally, she's my friend!)- Arre, itni zor se bolna padega kya, ki rape wala joke hai? (in a panicky voice) No, Madhuri, we are in a bus. No, don't do it.
J- (naturally very excited)- Tell, tell tell.
The senior who had just finished his moot turned back then. He was tired, frustrated. Poor thing. He had to end up sitting in the same bus as me. He gave me a 'Please, stop it' look. Poor thing. But I had to do it.
Me- (trying to speak in a hushed tone. Only some juniors including J ended up hearing it, so it was alright)- Is it possible for a man to rape a woman who's running with a skirt?
J- (trying to apply all the Biology stuff she had studied. Thinks deeply)- Errrr. Yeah, he can also run fast, I guess.
ME- No, he can't. Because a woman can run faster with her skirt up than a man with his pants down.
FB, J and me -Hahahaha (really loudly)
J- That wasn't funny. Dass diya. (gloomy face. Arre. But she laughed naa?)
(Now, FYI, Dass diya is a form of 'paka diya yaar' in our college.)
J- You know, Dass diya is too boring now. We should change the name.
Me-(excited)- Let's change it to pakao!!
J and FB -(cheerfully shouting) Pakao Pakao
The entire bus was shooting us dirty looks. BP still hiding her face under her bag.
Me-(thoughtfully) Pakao sounds like Wakao!! You know, that Vivek Oberoi drink thingy? Vanilla plus coke? Have you had it? I have had it. It's just ok ok, you know.
J- Yaaaaa even I didn't like it.
FB- What? What's that? (The lost soul that she is. Gah.)
Me-(always the educated one)- Arre, that drink. Vanilla plus coke. Diet Coke was it? Plus, J, do you remember, those jokes used to come on that drink? Oh God, they were so irritating. (But I still religiously read it. LOL)
Me- Anyway. What do you call a man who runs with a beer bottle? (Yes, I made this one up)
FB- OH NO!
BP- Please, Madhuri. (She looked up and saw we were nearing the hostel. I realized that too, and I got panicky. I hadn't told J more jokes!Shit!)
J- A drunkard?
Me-(ignoring her answer)- Ran-beer. (blushing and giggling)
We clambered out of the bus, shouting (since, none of us can sing) title song of Rock on!! for some damn reason. The senior who had just finished his moot, came to me and said in a dangerous voice, "What the hell were you upto?"