Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Lawyer's Trial

My sis came back to India a few months back and she's going to go back tomorrow. So but naturally, she is cribbing and looks upset whenever she sees a cow or dog or a man peeing on the road with a sappy 'I-will-miss-you-when-i-am-back-in-that-horrible-place' look on her face.

We have been entertaining guests, almost on daily basis, who come and ask advice on how to live there, pee there, etc. etc. But naturally, yours truly, the innocent victim, is attacked too with questions like,

(Questions are in Gujarati/Hindi but I'm writing them down in English)
1) "What's our small one doing?" (And they themselves are 3-4 inches shorter than me!)

2) "Law???!!!" (Followed by ten shocked smileys flashing across the room and me grinning sheepishly and my mom giving a fake, sappy grin at me)

3) "Why did she take law??" (with a high laugh) "She didn't get admission in medical or engineering, huh?"

Okay. Now. Law is not prostitution that I've been forced into, like on the lines of Lagaa Chunari Mei Daag (Whatever the spelling is). Medicine and Engineering does NOT interest me. That's why I took Arts. Commerce is stupid, even though Maths is pretty much interesting.

P.S to the world- There exist other careers too except engineering and medicine for students.

Also, I cleared a freaking entrance exam for which I didn't even half as much prepare as my other college dudes and dudenis have prepared. But I still got through. (shrugs)

It's a different fact that my grades suck. But hello? Einstein's grades sucked. Mine are worse!! (Yes, this quote is copied shamelessly from a Calvin and Hobbes book)

4) They just don't give up.
"Wants to earn fast money, huh?" is their declaration, with a smirk.
Okay, it's not my fault that lawyers never go into recession. I curse this world of man-un-kind to submerge deeply into recession, that they cry and beg on the streets and...muhuhaahaha. Come to me, said the lawyer to the recessionized.

5) "So she is the first lawyer in the family?" (a slight frown on their face. Things weren't exactly going according to their plan to insult,taunt and demoralize me and make my family feel they should have thrown me in the nearest orphanage when I was born)

Yes Aunty. Yes Uncle. My cousin studied law, but he isn't practising now. So I don't have a Godfather or Godmother or Godchacha, Godchachi, except the one who is hiding in heavens and giving me a thumbs up all the time. So it's upto me to make the Iyer mark on the big bad world of Law (with an earnest, sincere look)

6) "She'll easily get a job." they sorrowfully confess as they realize lawyers are always in demand and picturize me charging them per word I speak :D
I smirk in reply and leave the room holding my head high, as the mere mortals have no choice, but to look on....

7) After I leave the room,
"Lawyer...or Liar??" (with a general snigger in the room)
Trust me, when I'm a lawyer, I will sue each and everyone who makes that crack.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Moving On....

This post is not written with reference to some boy or girl (modern age, naa!!) breaking off with me. It may appear very ambiguous, but who cares.

Won't blame you if you don't get a word :D

I'm here, right where I always was,
Not the same I feel this time,
The change has been changed, with no pause,
No laughter, no gay whispers, no music of chimes.

The support I leant on always ,
Long before, gone before I had realized so,
Had left me bruised, hurt, pretty sad,
Bemused, I asked, was I that idiotic to be asked to go?

People always remain the people that they are,
Their dictum, their rule is slapped on you,
And within no time, they get so far,
And you realize the nightmare is true.

I'm on my own,
And this is how I got to remain,
No emotion, no feeling I show in my tone,
Loneliness is me, now no more a pain.

P.S- If you didn't understand the poem- I'm not sad, I'm not angry, I'm not hurt. I'm just indifferent. So keep your hugs and chill maars to yourself.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Potterwatch? No more :'(

This post is dedicated to all my fellow and fellis (fellow’s female version :D) Harry Potter fanatics. There is nothing to look forward in life, since the series is completed.

To those who haven’t read Harry Potter:- Your life will remain incomplete forever. I pity you.
To those who read Harry Potter and hated it:- Crucio to you. Oh wait, take an Avada Kedavra too.

Some points which make you sure you have been obsessed with the Harry Potter books:

1) You have taken a paint brush or anything that remotely resembles a wand and muttered a few ‘Lumos’ and ‘Nox’ and tried to do a ‘Crucio’ at anyone laughing at you (Personal experience. Yes, I was a kid.)

2) You have sorely wished you could wipe out the memory of those kids, with a simple ‘Obliviate’, who keep ranting the subject matter at the top of their voice and yell out doubts, which make you feel dumber than ever.

3) You thought cricket is stupid after watching Quidditch.

4) For boys: You wonder why the smart girls of your batch are not as good looking as Hermione Granger.

5) For girls: You sorely wish there existed real Oliver Woods and Cedric Diggorys in your school/college.

6) You cried when Sirius, Dumbledore, Snape, Fred, Lupin, Dobby died.

7) You wished the pictures would move instead of being stationary.

8) For hostelites- You wonder why the food in Hogwarts was so good and why the food in every other hostel sucks big time.

9) You have compared your teachers with Umbridge, Flitwick, McGonagall and were amazed at how they have so much in common.

10) You have each spell, each of the decrees passed by Umbridge, each dialogue in the book mugged up, and you still struggle to learn 10 pages of your study material by heart.

11) You have joined orkut communities, started orkut communities, written blog posts, discussed on Facebook walls- just to predict or read what others have predicted regarding the content of the next book.

12) You jumped at every rumour of Ron being dead of Harry being dead in the last book and your hands trembled while you read the last book (Not exactly, considering most of us knew Harry would be alive, thanks to the stupid media who broadcasted it early in the morning)

13) You were very critical of the Harry Potter movies, and you irritated your friend who didn’t read the books and watched the movies, by telling them every 5 mins during the movie about which parts they missed and which parts they added and made it worse :D

14) You were sure History of Magic would be more interesting than the History you studied in school.

15) You realized that even if you were a wizard, you would still struggle at understanding female brains (snigger snigger!)

16) You can read the books a zillion times and discover a zillion new things each time you read it, although you have mugged it up by heart, already :D

Can add more and can simply go on. But will end here.
Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! :P

P.S- I know I have left out a zillion other things, but couldn’t make this post endless. You are welcome to add your own, or criticize these ones.

P.P.S- For all those who loved the new dress on my blog, and for all those who winced on seeing the pinkness on my blog- Thanks, thanks, thanks only to Nidzzi. Nidzzi, take a bow :D

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Mads Moods Unleashed !!!!

Fed up of holidays, but don't want college to re-open,
Want to intern, but want to laze at home,
Want to be with friends, but then I avoid them,
Hug mom, but wish to run away from her,
Talk with dad, but get irritated at his sight,
Hang around with sis, but want to push her away,
Come online, and sit invisible,
Listen to music, and feel like punching the speakers,
Want to clear my room, but end up messing it more,
Read the news, and nothing goes in my head,
Want to write a sensible post, but my head is bursting,
Think about Dravid, and for once, don't blush,
Want to put my usual smileys here, but am in no mood to smile.

P.S- All the wise cracks that Mads is going mad or chill maar, you always get upset and your a depressing queen, WILL NOT BE...appreciated :|
P.P.S- Any wise cracks on the words 'moods' will seriously hamper your chances of making a good impression on my mom, since she reads my blog.
P.P.P.S- In case, yours truly made your mood worse than ever by publishing such a un- mads-like post, you may please move your ass to our joint blog and comment on the post on childhood memories \:D/