Sunday, September 20, 2009

About Embarassing and Self Suiciding.

The best part about any college life has to be the friends that one makes during college. Bunking classes and catching a movie, trying to catch the attention of the opposite sex (and lately, same sex too :O), playing tic tac toe in class, suddenly getting the urge to count the number of stars with your friend before an all important exam...The list is endless :D

There is this one friend who everyone must be having in his/her life. Also known as the embarassing friend. No no, not that you are embarassed to be his/her friend. Just that he/she ends up embarassing you...always!

I have one such friend and this post is dedicated to her.

1) Me (in a whisper): "Pssst. Don't take names. But the guy, I was telling you about. The one who looks like a girl. Yeah, the so called boy called Rajesh. He's right behind you.Turn subtlely and look at him, ok!!"

Embarasser(hysterical with happiness of finally getting to see him, like he is a Tom Cruise or something!!): "What?? Rajesh is behind? But where? Oh, behind me? But where is Rajesh?"

Rajesh has been giving both of us stony looks for the rest of our college lives since that (un)fateful day.

2) Embarasser (in full of her bitchy josh): Haha you know what? Sandeep and Sheena were totally making out in the classroom. I just saw them. Can you imagine, what Sheena's ex would go through if he had seen that?" (laughing like there is no tomorrow)

Me: (trying to tell her Mr.Ex is right behind us)

Embarasser: Hai? What? Arre laugh naa! I hope he goes there now. (sniggering)

Mr. Ex passes by and clears his throat to make his presence felt and embarasser's laugh dies in her mouth.

In one class, our sir asked us a basic question, who's answer we HAD to know, but surprisingly all of us were stoned that day and no one bothered to give an answer. Sir got pissed and went like, "How can you people not know this? I should commit self- suicide!!" LOL. I like sirs who make such sad jokes and entertain the class!

This semester has been very hectic since the examination system has been changed totally. So I'll be posting less and will read you guys when I have time.

Btw, I've been interviewed by Pakistani Spectator. If you value your life, read it and comment!!!

Link is:

Saturday, September 5, 2009


It's only after something really drastic happens that you realize who is important in your life and in who's life you are actually important.

It's been 14 days since my grandfather passed away and I admit I'm still not over it. I don't think anyone in my family is over it too. Fortunately, I haven't been avoiding studies or messing up my college activities because of the mourning. Studying helped in distracting me. At least my C.G.P.A might finally increase.

What really hurt was the behaviour of the people around me. People who I considered as my close friends, who I thought knew me in and out, didn't actually know Madhuri Iyer. It hurt when outsiders found my grandfather's death funny and made some crude remarks.I have a policy in my Sense of Humour Act, 2009 that jokes on funerals are strictly prohibited. People haven't seen me like this and yeah it's depressing to be depressing and see depressing faces around always, I understand.But it hurts double when your own people don't understand what you are feeling and don't bother.

But what pisses me off is that it's perfectly alright if people crib about their problems which are like, nothing in front of death. Boy problems and rubbish is more important, it seems. I'm not expecting sympathy and any talk that "Hey, look up there, grandpa is watching you, don't cry". I'm just expecting some sensible moments of peace around me. I lost someone, and I'm not asking everyone around me to tell me to cheer up or some crap. But they expect their problems to be more severe than this. There has been not a single soul to whom I can openly crib, be upset over and share what I'm actually feeling.

It's all about adjusting. All my life I've adjusted to all my friends, family etc. My ego had to be crushed in the mud to meet the demands of others. And whenever there's a fight, it's me who has to apologize even if it's not my fault. Whenever I want to do something or go somewhere, it never happens. If I'm not well, it's perfectly okay. If others aren't well, I have to pamper and be all nice to them. Still, I'm termed selfish. I'm termed bitchy. And this is despite me adjusting to others always. I do listen to others when they are sad, rude, pissed, happy any damn emotion. So why isn't anyone around when I need them? Doesn't sacrificing everything mean friendship? I have as big an ego as others have. But I can't ever be egoistic and avoid my friends just because we have fought or don't bother when my friend is sad. Now it seems I never had any self-esteem. I force myself to change, I tell myself to be strong and be cold to others when they are cold to me, but I just can't do it.

When will the time come when I get to do something which I want and which makes me feel happy? When will the time come when someone understands how I'm feeling without me telling them? I'm not asking for a boyfriend. I'm just asking for a friend who knows me inside out and is with me always to share my happiness as well as sorrow?

P.S- I'm not hinting at school/college/blogger friends over here. As for whom I'm hinting at, it's none of your business.
I know, it's a long post. Let me crib at least on my blog space.