I have my Constitutional Law-III project submission tomorrow. Also, I have my Law of Evidence test on the 5th. And I'm not even a Muslim to give an excuse of celebrating Ramzan. And I'm not related to Mahatma Gandhi to celebrate/mourn on Gandhi Jayanti. But I'm sitting at my computer since afternoon, listening to songs.
It's something that's troubling me since a long, long time. I've been feeling lost. Not at peace. Distracted. Due to various events. First the exams. Then, the sports meet. Now, it's, I don't know what.
Obviously, your friends can't be 24* 7 with you. And can't understand you, which is impossible when you yourself can't understand what's going on. I hope I'm making it clear what is happening. But there has been something which has always been there with me. Whenever, wherever I need it.
It's music that's always given me solace.
My sister and I used to play the keyboard. She was a natural at it (Yes, she's picture perfect. A topper who doesn't smoke, booze, drugs nothing, who dances, plays the keyboard, a 5'5 Deepika Padukone in badminton (see she's short, and so it's an advantage. Deepika would be taller than most guys, right?). What more do you want? Oh, she's single, btw.) She used to teach me the Bollywood tunes and we used to bajao it as a duet and our mom used to shed tears of joy.
We stopped it in class 9th or something. I have been thinking about our keyboard since a really long time. Today, I was home, since it was Gandhi Jayanti. Should I play the keyboard? What about the Constitutional Law project? And the test? Would I be able to get a single tune right? Sis wasn't even there to help me out. Sigh.
But I did it. I was off. I got out the dusty keyboard. (Do I sound like those guys in Rock On!!? I'm not intentionally doing it. I'm just replaying what happened.) I cleaned it up, all the time praying that it would work and a mouse hadn't gone inside the keyboard or a lizard hadn't gone in and died or something. The damn adapter didn't work, so I needed batteries. I brought out 3 new batteries, 2 of which were supposed to be used for our T.V. remote. A quick apology to Mom who had gone to a friend's place and I didn't accompany her because I was supposedly busy with my projects. (quickly shrugging off my guilty conscience) I needed 2 more batteries. Another quick apology to Mom, as I raped my T.V. remote and snatched away both its balls,-errr- batteries.
It still didn't work. I was close to tears.
Then, I remembered I was an idiot. I had put the batteries the wrong way, the Einstein I was, as somebody called me. I repaired the damage.
It bloody God damned worked then. A few ping ping pongs sang out as I tried it on. Whoa.
7 years, since I last played any tune.
My first tune, which I learnt was the song "Bholi si surat" from Dil to Pagal Hai.
I tried it. Played it at the 1st attempt without a single mistake.
I simply sat there. The feeling was sinking in. I didn't know what I was feeling.
I tried playing out "Socha Hai" from Rock on!! Tried a few notes here and there. The batteries stopped working and started acting weirdly.
Tried it for a while, then had to give up.
Resolved to get the adapter fixed, when this semester ends, and play the keyboard religiously.
I was finally feeling myself. Things were finally looking up.
Some nice musical quotes:-
If I were to begin life again, I would devote it to music. It is the only cheap and unpunished rapture upon earth. ~Sydney Smith
Without music life would be a mistake. ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. ~Maya Angelou, Gather Together in My Name
You are the music, while the music lasts. ~ T.S. Elliot.
I love music. ~ Madhuri Iyer. And I'm sure this sentiment is shared by all of you, out there.
I had to keep the keyboard on my table after giving it a pat (which my sis and I always did!)
I continued working on my project. But this time, with a smile on my face.