Sunday, April 29, 2012

Noida! :D

I shifted to Noida in the first week of April for professional reasons. It's nice...No, it's actually pretty. I know, people think of NCR as the National Capital of Rape instead of National Capital Region but trust me, there is a lot to this place than rape. It is true, everyday, TOI's headlines go on the lines of some woman's beheaded body found after she was raped, and it hits you really hard every morning. But, seriously, this place is PRETTY. We are having unseasonal rains for the last few weeks, so I'm making the most of it.

Enough of the philosophy! Some fun stuff now ;)
Overheard a group of girls talking amongst themselves during my first lunch in the place where I am putting up-
One girl- Yaar, I got a dream y’day. Awesome it was.
Other girls (And me inwardly)- What what what batao batao batao!
Girl- I dreamt that we got good food in the mess.

The other day, there was a huge line for food in the hostel. The girls and me at the back of the line, salivated at the thought of custard or halwa or some awesome stuff to eat, by judging the length.
We finally reached the mess counter, only to realize we were getting SALAD that day. That too, only cucumber slices. Hence, the line, apparently. #KillsSelf

I go shopping for food stuff and other essentials on Sunday, because I don’t have time at all on the other days. Before I forget to mention, I always found UPites, Jaats, Punjabis, very charming. They needn’t look good to be attractive, they can charm their way through me, full on.

So, this young shopkeeper caught me as his victim-

1)He- “You really want grape juice? You will get loose motion if you drink it.”

Me- “Errrrrr. (inwardly- Why would you say that and lose a customer?) Fine, give litchee.

Banda smart nikla. Litchee was more expensive than grape.

2)While I was handing him the money, he gawked at the new notes and went like, “Badiya madam, new notes, you stole it from somewhere, didn’t you?”

Me- Oh yeah, how did you come to know? :O
Later , I thought he might believe me actually (people around me do not getting my sarcasm nowadays, that’s why), and mom would kill me if the UP police was after me, in my first month at Noida itself. So, I told him that my mom works in a bank, hence the new notes.

He- (flashing a charming smile) So when you getting the new notes ka bundle for me?

Me- (inwardly, shut up Madhuri!) Pakka, soon!

 Moving on, I was very amused by the reactions my (???) loved ones showed when I informed them that I was shifting to Noida.
1) "Noida?? For what?? Law?? Law firm?? They have law firms also there kya??"
2) "Noida?? You mean Delhi naa? Noida is a part of Delhi naa?"
(On being told, no, Noida is in Uttar Pradesh) "U.P.???? YOU ARE GOING TO U.P. TO WORK? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
3) "Noida?? Yaar, you are this obsessed with drinking that you are shifting all the way to Noida?"

I was naturally irritated by the dumb fucks who told me congratulations but inwardly, I am sure, thought I'm going to work in some brothel or something over here (Noida, famous for rape, remember?) And like seriously?
People, kindly note- even if you drink, it is NOT a sin. And it is NOT necessary, that you have to drink whenever you have to party. My office was working on my birthday, so one of my friends asks me if I will get drunk after office. I told her no, because it will be too late, and no company, plus no mood. She went like, OMG but you people drink on every occasion right? I wish they manufactured maturity pills.

But what the hell! I know what my job is all about, and I know why I have come here. I get my independence, so screw you! Score- Madhuri-1, losers-0!