Wednesday, July 23, 2008

If I get all the money in the world.....

(I'm not money obsessed, btw. But this seems like an ideal blog post. I'm jobless, in short. So, let me fantasize what I would do if I had all the money in the world.... I want to buy Rahul Dravid, but naah, he's got a wife and kid. Responsibilities and all, you know. Shit.

1) Catch the first flight to Sri Lanka and go to Colombo where India's playing against Sri Lanka and get a pic clicked with Team India. And another pic with only me and Dravid (Hah, his wife and kids have not tagged along with him to Sri Lanka, so I can be the predator, and he, the prey!)
2)Buy Times of India, so they have no option except to allow me to rule them. I'll be editor of TOI and will improve TOI as a paper. (Hey, TOI rocks, alright?!?!)
3) Buy Shahid Kapur. He's so cute !
4) Buy a law degree and buzz off from my college (My college rocks, I'm just kidding, ok!!!)
) Shop without looking at the price tags.
6) Go to Chennai, see my grandparents every week.
7) Buy my sis a M.S. and Ph.d. in Pharmacy so that she does not have to go to the U.S.
8) Get her a job in some big shot Pharmaceutical company (which she would get even without my money, seeing her over whelming resume)
9) Get a new phone
10) Get new soft toys and barbies
11) Buy Cristiano Ronaldo for myself. And yeah, maybe get him to Gandhinagar and ask him to coach my college guys.
12) Buy Nadal for my sister. And get a good guy for Nadal's girlfriend as a replacement. (See, I'm considerate.)
13) Send Dad and Mom off for a holiday.
14) Get Sonia Gandhi and Deepika Padukone for my grandfather (But my grandpa likes Yuvraj, ok.)
15) Get the most expensive treatments done on my grandparents to make them alive and kicking (They are already alive and kicking ok. But maybe a little more!!)
16) Watch an Indo-Pak match live in Eden Gardens with my grandparents, family and all. Before that, fix the match in India's favour.
17) Buy Sachin Tendulkar and get him to coach my college guys. And force him to teach the girls cricket too. (But hey, I'm leaving college!!!)
18) Buy all the books I can lay my eyes on.
19) Repair global warming. I mean, eradicate it.
20) Brain wash all the politicians and remove all the corruptness from them.
21) No poverty in this world, because Madhuri Iyer is rich !
22) Hold an auction for an Indian guy who :-
a)a great sense of humour
b)can talk 24*7 about sports
c)must be loyal to friends
d)must not hate Rahul Dravid (and it's okay if he likes Sachin more than Dravid)
e)must be a Manchester United fan
f)must be at least 6' or more than 6'
g)must be a techno-savvy person
h)must be addicted to music
i)must be a family person
j)must not be a Virgo
k)must not be a male chauvinist
l)must be sweet and cute
m)must have good writing skills
n)must be creative, innovative
o)must listen to my kinda music
p)must not be moody
q)must be educated (DUH !!!!)
r)must dance and sing well
s)must be patient
t)must like Preity Zinta
u)must not be a smoker, doper, drinker(?!?!?!?!)
v)must be a social activist
w)must be ready to do and die for India
x)must respect Gujjus and South Indians
y)must have no pets
z)preferrably an Arien or Leo or Capricon or Libra
aa)must have dimples (preferrably only one cheek)
ab)must not be obsessed with money

I have to go out for shopping (of course, looking at the price tags)
But I'm still dreaming of owning Ronaldo and surrounded by books and catching a flight to Kolkata and barging into Sachin's dressing room and demanding him to come to my college......


Girish Mahadevan said...

ohh gr8!!

Everything 4 urself & ur family/friends.
considering you have all the money in the world, doesn't it come 2 ur mind 2 think about social causes & other existing problems in the world.

now u can update things like..driving out poverty etc etc..atleast one cause which helps strangers.;-)

BTW very nice ur comments in the brackets after every point...LOL..;-)

Mads said...

oh yeah, forgot about social causes, shit. im such a loser.
i'll edit it, right here right now.

alex paul k said...

one suggestion though
aftr ownin c ronaldo make sure dat he stays with man utd in his prime

Mads said...

@alex, yeah of course, he'll continue for manu... that is if i allow him to get away from me for so many months during the premier league :-( :-( :-P

sulo badri said...

gud one - hw did u find time to put down all tht you want ;) i sure cant do tht - evn if i did am sure to miss out on mny...