But I have to be different from the rest of the world.
I suffer from this phobia called Escalaphobia. The fear of escalators.
Why? Why? Why do they exist? Man built stairs, man built elevators. but the jerk wasn't satisfied and he made the you-know-whats too.
Here's a dedication to the E things.
You are ugly, you are cunning, a big cheat,
Your teeth, they wanna bite,
And snap off, when I step my feet,
You claim you fly as fast as a kite.
You make me unsteady,
You make my heart stop beating,
You laugh like a maniac, bloody,
And keep the pace jumping.
People appreciate you for saving their time,
They do not understand the terror I undergo,
You save their energy, when they are past their prime,
You have made my life in malls a big blow.
The liftmen laugh at me when I stand before,
Shivering, knees giving way, I tremble,
You mean escalator, you laugh, you ridicule, you roar,
As I make my way to the elevator or stairs, all humble.
My other phobia is Cynophobia i.e. fear of dogs. But I can still manage by shivering, abusing and walking past the poor dog, which incidentally, only bites when it is moody because of which the bitten has to receive only 14 injections. For clarifications, I have not been bitten (YET! Touch wood)