Aren't we all obsessed with the F word? Whatever be the situation, this word comes out of our mouth.
A fucking poem dedicated to you, my fucking F-word, my fucked up love.
It's a fucking world, with only fuckers around,
Fuck fuck fuck, go people, round and round,
Happy, frustrated, pissed, indifferent, it's always Fuck you,
Fucking shit, it's doesn't happen to only us few.
Fuck fuck fuck, every day is a brand new fucking day,
Every minute, every hour, it's only fuck we say,
Helps life go on, satisfaction it's always giving,
Helps making our life worth fucking living.
A fuck to the people who think fuck's a shame,
I love, adore, admire when I play this fucking game,
The game of Fuck, who fucks is the fucking winner,
Who doesn't...well...fuck your face in that mess ka dinner.
P.S- No, this was not written only because of my frustration due to exams. It was written due to some other factors too. A fuck to all of that. Fucking cheers!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
The Bus Trip of a Lifetime
This has got to be one of my best bus trips ever. No, I didn't go to Shimla or Nainital with some hot guy. This was a simple bus trip from my college to my hostel which lasted for 10-15 mins.How can I forget the wackiest conversation we ever had in the bus....
Characters(pun intended) in the bus:
1)The protagonist (ME) *drumroll*
2)My female partner in crime. My first bencher friend whom we shall call 'FB'.
3)The female who's already pink cheeks turned red with embarassment. My bench partner whom we shall call 'BP'.
4)The junior(girl) who was caught in the middle of it all. Literally. Whom we shall call 'J'.
5) Loads and loads of irritated, frustrated, angry, pissed, sad, depressed, seniors, juniors, sub-juniors, batchmates around....
It was around 7ish when BP, FB, J and I were yapping away and coming to the bus to go back to the hostel. FB, BP and I had just watched our senior's moot(Go to wikipedia.org for the meaning, I'm too bored to elaborate). While we were getting into the bus, FB and BP were telling J about my exclusive MJ's (Madhuri Jokes- I don't make up all the jokes myself, btw) and J was fascinated and wanted to hear more. And I complied with her request....
Me- (with a superior look)- What do you call a Maruti Car from which petrol leaks?
J-(sniggering)- Leaking car.
Me-(raised eyebrows)
FB- (laughing out in typical LOL style) She, seriously, has a loud laugh.
Others in the bus turn around. Coincidentally, we all were sitting at the back. Me and BP were in one row and J was standing in between me and FB who was in the next row.
J- I give up. Tell naa!!
Me-(smiling in ':D smiley' fashion)- Maruti 'susu'ki !
The junior in front of me and BP laughed in LOL style. FB LOL'd again even though she had heard (suffered) the joke with which I had started my career of torturing people with my jokes.
J-ohhhhhhhh. (What a diplomatic reaction!)
Me- (the idiot, nincompoop that I am, announce loudly)- Hey, FB, rape wala joke batau J ko?
Naturally, everyone looks back in fascination. Notice, how people's eyes light up at the sound of hearing a joke on sex or rape, even when they complain they don't want to hear. Heeheehee...
BP tries to hide her face.
FB (shouting again. She is an idiot. That's why naturally, she's my friend!)- Arre, itni zor se bolna padega kya, ki rape wala joke hai? (in a panicky voice) No, Madhuri, we are in a bus. No, don't do it.
J- (naturally very excited)- Tell, tell tell.
The senior who had just finished his moot turned back then. He was tired, frustrated. Poor thing. He had to end up sitting in the same bus as me. He gave me a 'Please, stop it' look. Poor thing. But I had to do it.
Me- (trying to speak in a hushed tone. Only some juniors including J ended up hearing it, so it was alright)- Is it possible for a man to rape a woman who's running with a skirt?
J- (trying to apply all the Biology stuff she had studied. Thinks deeply)- Errrr. Yeah, he can also run fast, I guess.
ME- No, he can't. Because a woman can run faster with her skirt up than a man with his pants down.
FB, J and me -Hahahaha (really loudly)
J- That wasn't funny. Dass diya. (gloomy face. Arre. But she laughed naa?)
(Now, FYI, Dass diya is a form of 'paka diya yaar' in our college.)
J- You know, Dass diya is too boring now. We should change the name.
Me-(excited)- Let's change it to pakao!!
J and FB -(cheerfully shouting) Pakao Pakao
The entire bus was shooting us dirty looks. BP still hiding her face under her bag.
Me-(thoughtfully) Pakao sounds like Wakao!! You know, that Vivek Oberoi drink thingy? Vanilla plus coke? Have you had it? I have had it. It's just ok ok, you know.
J- Yaaaaa even I didn't like it.
FB- What? What's that? (The lost soul that she is. Gah.)
Me-(always the educated one)- Arre, that drink. Vanilla plus coke. Diet Coke was it? Plus, J, do you remember, those jokes used to come on that drink? Oh God, they were so irritating. (But I still religiously read it. LOL)
Me- Anyway. What do you call a man who runs with a beer bottle? (Yes, I made this one up)
FB- OH NO!
BP- Please, Madhuri. (She looked up and saw we were nearing the hostel. I realized that too, and I got panicky. I hadn't told J more jokes!Shit!)
J- A drunkard?
Me-(ignoring her answer)- Ran-beer. (blushing and giggling)
J- Aaaaaargghhh!
We clambered out of the bus, shouting (since, none of us can sing) title song of Rock on!! for some damn reason. The senior who had just finished his moot, came to me and said in a dangerous voice, "What the hell were you upto?"
I blushed.
Characters(pun intended) in the bus:
1)The protagonist (ME) *drumroll*
2)My female partner in crime. My first bencher friend whom we shall call 'FB'.
3)The female who's already pink cheeks turned red with embarassment. My bench partner whom we shall call 'BP'.
4)The junior(girl) who was caught in the middle of it all. Literally. Whom we shall call 'J'.
5) Loads and loads of irritated, frustrated, angry, pissed, sad, depressed, seniors, juniors, sub-juniors, batchmates around....
It was around 7ish when BP, FB, J and I were yapping away and coming to the bus to go back to the hostel. FB, BP and I had just watched our senior's moot(Go to wikipedia.org for the meaning, I'm too bored to elaborate). While we were getting into the bus, FB and BP were telling J about my exclusive MJ's (Madhuri Jokes- I don't make up all the jokes myself, btw) and J was fascinated and wanted to hear more. And I complied with her request....
Me- (with a superior look)- What do you call a Maruti Car from which petrol leaks?
J-(sniggering)- Leaking car.
Me-(raised eyebrows)
FB- (laughing out in typical LOL style) She, seriously, has a loud laugh.
Others in the bus turn around. Coincidentally, we all were sitting at the back. Me and BP were in one row and J was standing in between me and FB who was in the next row.
J- I give up. Tell naa!!
Me-(smiling in ':D smiley' fashion)- Maruti 'susu'ki !
The junior in front of me and BP laughed in LOL style. FB LOL'd again even though she had heard (suffered) the joke with which I had started my career of torturing people with my jokes.
J-ohhhhhhhh. (What a diplomatic reaction!)
Me- (the idiot, nincompoop that I am, announce loudly)- Hey, FB, rape wala joke batau J ko?
Naturally, everyone looks back in fascination. Notice, how people's eyes light up at the sound of hearing a joke on sex or rape, even when they complain they don't want to hear. Heeheehee...
BP tries to hide her face.
FB (shouting again. She is an idiot. That's why naturally, she's my friend!)- Arre, itni zor se bolna padega kya, ki rape wala joke hai? (in a panicky voice) No, Madhuri, we are in a bus. No, don't do it.
J- (naturally very excited)- Tell, tell tell.
The senior who had just finished his moot turned back then. He was tired, frustrated. Poor thing. He had to end up sitting in the same bus as me. He gave me a 'Please, stop it' look. Poor thing. But I had to do it.
Me- (trying to speak in a hushed tone. Only some juniors including J ended up hearing it, so it was alright)- Is it possible for a man to rape a woman who's running with a skirt?
J- (trying to apply all the Biology stuff she had studied. Thinks deeply)- Errrr. Yeah, he can also run fast, I guess.
ME- No, he can't. Because a woman can run faster with her skirt up than a man with his pants down.
FB, J and me -Hahahaha (really loudly)
J- That wasn't funny. Dass diya. (gloomy face. Arre. But she laughed naa?)
(Now, FYI, Dass diya is a form of 'paka diya yaar' in our college.)
J- You know, Dass diya is too boring now. We should change the name.
Me-(excited)- Let's change it to pakao!!
J and FB -(cheerfully shouting) Pakao Pakao
The entire bus was shooting us dirty looks. BP still hiding her face under her bag.
Me-(thoughtfully) Pakao sounds like Wakao!! You know, that Vivek Oberoi drink thingy? Vanilla plus coke? Have you had it? I have had it. It's just ok ok, you know.
J- Yaaaaa even I didn't like it.
FB- What? What's that? (The lost soul that she is. Gah.)
Me-(always the educated one)- Arre, that drink. Vanilla plus coke. Diet Coke was it? Plus, J, do you remember, those jokes used to come on that drink? Oh God, they were so irritating. (But I still religiously read it. LOL)
Me- Anyway. What do you call a man who runs with a beer bottle? (Yes, I made this one up)
FB- OH NO!
BP- Please, Madhuri. (She looked up and saw we were nearing the hostel. I realized that too, and I got panicky. I hadn't told J more jokes!Shit!)
J- A drunkard?
Me-(ignoring her answer)- Ran-beer. (blushing and giggling)
J- Aaaaaargghhh!
We clambered out of the bus, shouting (since, none of us can sing) title song of Rock on!! for some damn reason. The senior who had just finished his moot, came to me and said in a dangerous voice, "What the hell were you upto?"
I blushed.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
The Eureka Moments that define my life....
I'm not exactly a dumb blonde. But yeah, I tend to be dumb sometimes....Maybe, that's why Deepika has Ranbir and he doesn't know about my existence. (sniff sniff)
Sometimes, I discover somethings which were right in front of me: and I never figured it out.
It's those Eureka Moments that I'm gonna write about.
1) I have a laptop since August 2006; and I discovered on 13th October 2008 that my laptop has an inbuilt mike. Damn. I could have talked with so many people on mike instead of wasting money on those damn phone bills. Damn damn damn.
Positive side of the story: Yay!! I'll have someone to talk to even at 1 in the morning when I'm bored. Yay!! I can chat with my sis!! Yay!! I end up talking only 10,000 words a day(minimum): now I can talk 10,000 words at night too(minimum)!
2) How did I discover it? Don't you dare laugh: The other person called me up on gtalk to make me hear a song, and I was oblivious to the fact that the other person can hear me. I was happily abusing another person who was irritating me; and abusing my laptop for being so slow. Suddenly, the other person messages me on gtalk: stop saying 'shit'.
I gaped at the laptop screen.
Then, I understood. My laptop had an in built mike.
3) But where was it? I was talking on the mike, and the other person could hear me; but I didn't know where to talk. I felt the mike was under the laptop. I tilted my poor, poor laptop and started speaking on it.
The genius at the other end remarked. They wouldn't be stupid enough to place a mike under the laptop. Right?
Yeah. Actually.
The icing on the cake.Err. laptop, I mean: We started talking about mikes (typing, not talking) and the conversation jumped to web cams. Of course, I have a web cam at home, but I had never seen a web cam on any laptop. So, my friend just generally mentioned if I had a webcam, I would be having a mike too.
And yours truly over reacted. (why?why? Is this the reason why I didn't get Rahul Dravid and i can't get Ranbir Kapoor now?) I was tilting my laptop on all angles possible trying to find the mike, so I was distracted. But. I can't forgive myself for being so dumb.
I say:
OMG. Do I have a webcam also????? :O
The worst part: One day after this web cam (mis)adventure happens, I saw a webcam on a friend's laptop. I gazed at my reflection and wondered. Why. why. why......
4) P.s- I still don't know where my mike is. But I still talk.
Sometimes, I discover somethings which were right in front of me: and I never figured it out.
It's those Eureka Moments that I'm gonna write about.
1) I have a laptop since August 2006; and I discovered on 13th October 2008 that my laptop has an inbuilt mike. Damn. I could have talked with so many people on mike instead of wasting money on those damn phone bills. Damn damn damn.
Positive side of the story: Yay!! I'll have someone to talk to even at 1 in the morning when I'm bored. Yay!! I can chat with my sis!! Yay!! I end up talking only 10,000 words a day(minimum): now I can talk 10,000 words at night too(minimum)!
2) How did I discover it? Don't you dare laugh: The other person called me up on gtalk to make me hear a song, and I was oblivious to the fact that the other person can hear me. I was happily abusing another person who was irritating me; and abusing my laptop for being so slow. Suddenly, the other person messages me on gtalk: stop saying 'shit'.
I gaped at the laptop screen.
Then, I understood. My laptop had an in built mike.
3) But where was it? I was talking on the mike, and the other person could hear me; but I didn't know where to talk. I felt the mike was under the laptop. I tilted my poor, poor laptop and started speaking on it.
The genius at the other end remarked. They wouldn't be stupid enough to place a mike under the laptop. Right?
Yeah. Actually.
The icing on the cake.Err. laptop, I mean: We started talking about mikes (typing, not talking) and the conversation jumped to web cams. Of course, I have a web cam at home, but I had never seen a web cam on any laptop. So, my friend just generally mentioned if I had a webcam, I would be having a mike too.
And yours truly over reacted. (why?why? Is this the reason why I didn't get Rahul Dravid and i can't get Ranbir Kapoor now?) I was tilting my laptop on all angles possible trying to find the mike, so I was distracted. But. I can't forgive myself for being so dumb.
I say:
OMG. Do I have a webcam also????? :O
The worst part: One day after this web cam (mis)adventure happens, I saw a webcam on a friend's laptop. I gazed at my reflection and wondered. Why. why. why......
4) P.s- I still don't know where my mike is. But I still talk.
I'll write more of these Eureka Moments later.
p.p.s- Credit goes to Peter for giving those dumb blonde moments the tag of 'Eureka Moments'
And no more posting for the next 2 weeks. Exam time is back. Sniff sniff.Monday, October 13, 2008
My Second Tag! Blush blush!
I love Tags. Why?
1) Helps you waste 2 mins reading a Tag.
2) Helps you waste 2 more minutes rejoicing the fact that you have been tagged.
3) Helps you waste eternity doing the tag. Specially during exam time :-)
Peter's tagged me. (God bless that guy)
The rules(which I never bother to read, but I am reading now) are:
RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
RULE #2 Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people..
1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
# MEN SUCK. or ALL MEN ARE SEX HUNGRY or THAT #&^*$#$# or many other reactions possible...
2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
# I dream for a living, so hmmm....being happy and seeing my loved ones happy, I guess (sounds too senti? That's me)
3. Whose butt would you like to kick??
# I usually kick those people who I'm seriously pissed with...Currently...wanna kick my own butt for not studying and wasting time.
4. Where do you see yourself in 10 years time??
# Happy, well settled (job wise I mean) with a tall, fair/dark (I'm not racist), handsome guy, running after my sister's kids and seeing India on number 1 position in cricket and hockey. I can still go on....*dreamy look* And yeah, with a nice complexion :-) And yeah, with more blogger fans. You can help in the last cause. (I sound like those CRY and other NGO's who say 'You can help make a difference')
5. What would you do with a billion dollars?
# Shop till the shop keepers drop.
5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
# She is a girl and we both are straight. And if you are talking about a guy who's a good friend, naah. He's too short for me.
6.Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
# Both are equally romantic :D :P
7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?
# Do I love someone? :O
8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?
# Forget him. Aur kya? Duh....
9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?
# Definitely go against child labour.
10. What takes you down the fastest?
# I'm short tempered anyway. But anything against me, my friends, my family. And the person is dead the very next second.
11. What's your fear?
# Dogs, moving forward in life, doctors, injections, blood. Aarrgh. And yeah, India losing to Pakistan or Australia.
13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
# Peter- a great sense(less) humour, one of the few sensible(single :P) guys left on Planet Earth.
14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
# Married and poor. I'll bug my poor husband to work over time and earn more :D
15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
# Growl and switch off the cell phone's alarm and go back to sleep.
16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?
# None :P I love my single status.
17. Would you give all in a relationship?
# I think yes. If it's mutual, of course.. :D
18. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?
# Yeah. I'm that types. *has a halo on her head and angel wings spread*
19. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
# Single rocks as long as I am single!! :-)
(And as long as Dravid is married and Rambir is devoted to Deepika)
20. Your dream match?
# A guy. Tall. Cute. Sweet. Extremely funny and witty. Creative. Very smart. Sportsperson. So, where are you? :D
PEOPLE I TAG:
1. Disha
2. Sia
3. Nidhi
4. Alex
5. Chetan Bhagat (Pls Pls Pls Pls at least see my blog. My template isn't even pink.)
6. Pooja
7. Trinaa
(Yay!! I tagged so many people!! :D :D)
1) Helps you waste 2 mins reading a Tag.
2) Helps you waste 2 more minutes rejoicing the fact that you have been tagged.
3) Helps you waste eternity doing the tag. Specially during exam time :-)
Peter's tagged me. (God bless that guy)
The rules(which I never bother to read, but I am reading now) are:
RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
RULE #2 Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people..
1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
# MEN SUCK. or ALL MEN ARE SEX HUNGRY or THAT #&^*$#$# or many other reactions possible...
2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
# I dream for a living, so hmmm....being happy and seeing my loved ones happy, I guess (sounds too senti? That's me)
3. Whose butt would you like to kick??
# I usually kick those people who I'm seriously pissed with...Currently...wanna kick my own butt for not studying and wasting time.
4. Where do you see yourself in 10 years time??
# Happy, well settled (job wise I mean) with a tall, fair/dark (I'm not racist), handsome guy, running after my sister's kids and seeing India on number 1 position in cricket and hockey. I can still go on....*dreamy look* And yeah, with a nice complexion :-) And yeah, with more blogger fans. You can help in the last cause. (I sound like those CRY and other NGO's who say 'You can help make a difference')
5. What would you do with a billion dollars?
# Shop till the shop keepers drop.
5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
# She is a girl and we both are straight. And if you are talking about a guy who's a good friend, naah. He's too short for me.
6.Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
# Both are equally romantic :D :P
7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?
# Do I love someone? :O
8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?
# Forget him. Aur kya? Duh....
9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?
# Definitely go against child labour.
10. What takes you down the fastest?
# I'm short tempered anyway. But anything against me, my friends, my family. And the person is dead the very next second.
11. What's your fear?
# Dogs, moving forward in life, doctors, injections, blood. Aarrgh. And yeah, India losing to Pakistan or Australia.
13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
# Peter- a great sense(less) humour, one of the few sensible(single :P) guys left on Planet Earth.
14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
# Married and poor. I'll bug my poor husband to work over time and earn more :D
15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
# Growl and switch off the cell phone's alarm and go back to sleep.
16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?
# None :P I love my single status.
17. Would you give all in a relationship?
# I think yes. If it's mutual, of course.. :D
18. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?
# Yeah. I'm that types. *has a halo on her head and angel wings spread*
19. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
# Single rocks as long as I am single!! :-)
(And as long as Dravid is married and Rambir is devoted to Deepika)
20. Your dream match?
# A guy. Tall. Cute. Sweet. Extremely funny and witty. Creative. Very smart. Sportsperson. So, where are you? :D
PEOPLE I TAG:
1. Disha
2. Sia
3. Nidhi
4. Alex
5. Chetan Bhagat (Pls Pls Pls Pls at least see my blog. My template isn't even pink.)
6. Pooja
7. Trinaa
(Yay!! I tagged so many people!! :D :D)
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Saurav Ganguly's life, in Saurav Ganguly's words.....
Saurav Ganguly's called it a day. He is not going to play in either ODIs or Tests after the Australia series. Many say it's a VRS (Voluntary Retirement 'Schemed') and not VR (Voluntary Retirement). We shall never know what really happened, but can only speculate. Instead of wasting further time, I had better shut up. Because, it's Ganguly who wants to talk to us now.
Hey People,
I'm chucking the usual formalities of hi-how are you now; don't mistake it as my usual arrogance; I'm just doing it because maybe a certain Steve Waugh might be reading this. I can irritate him even after he's retired and I'm following suit (Heeheehee)
You guys (referring to the media, the journalists who earn more money when they stop other's from earning through their hugely speculated and exaggerated articles.Damn you.) carried a story, immediately on my debut, in 1992, that I refused to carry drinks. Yes, I was a rebel since then. And why not? In the end, they had to give in to me. They can call me arrogant, they can call me a stubborn brat. But they needed the aggressive, leader in me. We move to 1996, when I made my Test Debut. I was there at the crease with a fine looking boy, Rahul Dravid. We decided to treat each other; whoever scores more will treat the other. No wonder, Dravid was happier than me when I scored my first century on debut. We hugged each other, then hogged together, immediately after the match; we bonded really well. Cricket was not the only thing we had in common.
Blush Blush. I got my shona at last. I got married to Dona, my next-door neighbour. We eloped and got married; so exciting it was. But we are accepted by both the families now. Treat treat, Dravid winked at me. Sachin, Azharuddin, Manjrekar coached me on the Do's and Dont's of marriage and on How to keep your wife happy 365 days a year. Man. Cricket was much more easier than marriage.
Sahara Cup 1997. I won 5 Consecutive Man of the Match Awards. Man of the series too, btw.
Arjuna Award in 1998. Wow
1999. Man of series against New Zealand. Yo yo yo....
World Cup 1999. My First World Cup. Yay!!! I was representing India. What a feeling. Am glad I ditched football and went for cricket; thanks to my big bro Snehasish. Did you know I played left handed, because my bro was a left hander, and I had to use his equipment? Hehehe. That's how things went 'right' for me. I scored the highest score by an Indian; 183 against Sri Lanka. I beat Kapil paaji's 175*, which was the previous record.
Tendulya and I were one amongst the best opening partnerships in the world, then. We gelled so well, that Dona and Anjali often had their suspicions. Dravid was still single; damn him.
In Feb 2000, I was appointed captain. Treat treat, Dravid sang again. I took over, after the matchfixing scandal. I had my team to back me. The battle was half won already.
The Aussies arrived here, in 2001. Raped us in the 1st match. Then the Kolkata Test happened. I considered changing my sexual orientation after Laxman's scintillating 281 and Dravid's 180, Harbhajan's hat trick, won us the match. It happened on my Eden Gardens soil. I couldn't have been happier. I irritated Steve Waugh by keeping him waiting for the toss. Hehehe. It wasn't intentional. I had better things to do: Keep Sachin's phone away when Anjali called , put gel on Laxman's already gelled hair, pull the nada of Dravid's pants, etc. Others had to take revenge. They used to hide my contact lenses. Sniff sniff. How they trouble their captain. Incidentally, they were psychological tricks which worked. We won 2-1. Steve Waugh hated me. Blush blush.
The Natwest Final, Jan 7, 2001. My current crush- Yuvraj Singh and-newly developed feelings for- Mohammad Kaif, played the match of their lives. The adrenalin rush, the burst of emotions, I didn't know what to do. I removed my t-shirt. My India had won the series out of nowhere. So there. (The best part was Dona screeching on the phone: You looked so hot!)
World Cup 2003. We reached the finals. But lost out badly. Disappointed, we were. For once, Dravid didn't ask for a treat. Thank God he shut up. Why didn't he ask for a treat? Beause he was busy with something else. Ahem. Someone else. He finally got married. In a secret affair to a doctor. Wow. Lovesick, Rahul was and we didn't even know about it. Treat treat treat treat, I bugged him. He simply blushed. Me and Sachin smirked. Welcome to hell, mate.
We matched Australia in their own den. 1-1. My century at Brisbane showed the freaks what I was all about. Sachin, Dravid, Laxman,Sehwag= I wanted to marry all of them. They were too, too good. Irfan Pathan's debut. I knew he had it in him. I came back home. Dona had given up on me. She simply smiled when I talked about them in my sleep. Awww. I love her.
We won in Pakistan after 50 years in 2004. My own form troubled a bit.
Australia came to our home next. The Nagpur test changed my life. And our dear coach. Greg Chappell. I was dropped from captaincy. I went inside the dressing room to pack my bags. Dravid and Sachin didn't know what to tell me. But I understood. Things were going to change professionally. But our personal equation was never going to change. I smiled and asked Dravid for a treat: He was going to be the new captain.
India did well under Dravid's captaincy. He called me after each match. He didn't want the job. He wanted me back. I cried after every call. Didn't he know how badly I wanted to be in the team, if not captain?
You freaks, you media assholes. You don't know when to talk and when to shut up, right? Reports that I had an animated discussion with Dravid because I wanted to open. Oh damn you.
In 2006, my gritty 30's in Karachi, where we lost badly and sadly, didn't help my cause. I was dropped. Again. I went to the dressing room, to collect my bags, to go home. We were men ageing from 25 to 35, in the team. But we didn't behave like one. Everyone cried that evening.
I was back. (drumroll in the background) I raped the South Africans, England team and then Pakistan, single handedly. My first hundred at home (Thank you, Kolkata. Thank you, so much)
My first double hundred-239 at Bangalore (Dravid treated me this time. Hehehe)
Dhoni, is a fine lad. Reports of him and us seniors, being at logger heads and crap, is absolute crap. God bless him. We need Indian captains like him. I knew Yuvraj would do well. He still hails me for everything he does. Blushes.
IPL. Kolkata Knight Riders had its side of controversies. Blah blah blah. Gah.
Surprisingly, I was dropped from the CB series in Australia. Dravid was dropped too. Before, we used to abuse some well chosen gaalis. But now we had grown up. Grown old, I mean.
We won, we didn't complain. We can do anything to see the dejected look on Australian's faces. Even stay out of the team, if India wins.
Me and Dravid had a poor run against Sri Lanka, when we visited them. We discussed retirement. No ways, we both laughed.
I was omitted from the Rest of India squad in the Irani trophy. I don't know what happened. I talked with Dona. I decided I had to retire, after the Australia series. I talked with my team next. Dravid was surprised, but he hid it well. Even Laxman, Sachin. They wanted me to stay, but didn't tell me. I know them too well. But unfortunately, I knew myself better. I couldn't stay any longer.
Thanks to all my fanatics, fans. Thanks to all the anti-Dada people out there; thanks for adding the grey effect to my career. It has been a colourful one.
Love,
Dada.
Just one last thing, lads,
Should Dravid treat me or should I treat him after we win the series against Australia? Or should we take a combined treat from Sachin when he crosses the 77 runs mark? Yeah, that would be a wise thing. Hahahaha. I should tell Dravid and Laxman and the whole team in advance, so that Sachin can't back out. But then, he's used to immense pressure always. Maybe he'll just ignore us? Damnit.
DISCLAIMER- IT'S ALL MY IMAGINATION, WHICH HAS BEEN AS USUAL EXAGGERATED. AN APOLOGY TO PEOPLE WHO FOUND IT DEROGATORY OR UN-AMUSING. I COULDN'T WRITE A TEARFUL TRIBUTE TO GANGULY, BECAUSE I CAN'T DO THAT. HE DESERVES A CHEERFUL ONE.
Hey People,
I'm chucking the usual formalities of hi-how are you now; don't mistake it as my usual arrogance; I'm just doing it because maybe a certain Steve Waugh might be reading this. I can irritate him even after he's retired and I'm following suit (Heeheehee)
You guys (referring to the media, the journalists who earn more money when they stop other's from earning through their hugely speculated and exaggerated articles.Damn you.) carried a story, immediately on my debut, in 1992, that I refused to carry drinks. Yes, I was a rebel since then. And why not? In the end, they had to give in to me. They can call me arrogant, they can call me a stubborn brat. But they needed the aggressive, leader in me. We move to 1996, when I made my Test Debut. I was there at the crease with a fine looking boy, Rahul Dravid. We decided to treat each other; whoever scores more will treat the other. No wonder, Dravid was happier than me when I scored my first century on debut. We hugged each other, then hogged together, immediately after the match; we bonded really well. Cricket was not the only thing we had in common.
Blush Blush. I got my shona at last. I got married to Dona, my next-door neighbour. We eloped and got married; so exciting it was. But we are accepted by both the families now. Treat treat, Dravid winked at me. Sachin, Azharuddin, Manjrekar coached me on the Do's and Dont's of marriage and on How to keep your wife happy 365 days a year. Man. Cricket was much more easier than marriage.
Sahara Cup 1997. I won 5 Consecutive Man of the Match Awards. Man of the series too, btw.
Arjuna Award in 1998. Wow
1999. Man of series against New Zealand. Yo yo yo....
World Cup 1999. My First World Cup. Yay!!! I was representing India. What a feeling. Am glad I ditched football and went for cricket; thanks to my big bro Snehasish. Did you know I played left handed, because my bro was a left hander, and I had to use his equipment? Hehehe. That's how things went 'right' for me. I scored the highest score by an Indian; 183 against Sri Lanka. I beat Kapil paaji's 175*, which was the previous record.
Tendulya and I were one amongst the best opening partnerships in the world, then. We gelled so well, that Dona and Anjali often had their suspicions. Dravid was still single; damn him.
In Feb 2000, I was appointed captain. Treat treat, Dravid sang again. I took over, after the matchfixing scandal. I had my team to back me. The battle was half won already.
The Aussies arrived here, in 2001. Raped us in the 1st match. Then the Kolkata Test happened. I considered changing my sexual orientation after Laxman's scintillating 281 and Dravid's 180, Harbhajan's hat trick, won us the match. It happened on my Eden Gardens soil. I couldn't have been happier. I irritated Steve Waugh by keeping him waiting for the toss. Hehehe. It wasn't intentional. I had better things to do: Keep Sachin's phone away when Anjali called , put gel on Laxman's already gelled hair, pull the nada of Dravid's pants, etc. Others had to take revenge. They used to hide my contact lenses. Sniff sniff. How they trouble their captain. Incidentally, they were psychological tricks which worked. We won 2-1. Steve Waugh hated me. Blush blush.
The Natwest Final, Jan 7, 2001. My current crush- Yuvraj Singh and-newly developed feelings for- Mohammad Kaif, played the match of their lives. The adrenalin rush, the burst of emotions, I didn't know what to do. I removed my t-shirt. My India had won the series out of nowhere. So there. (The best part was Dona screeching on the phone: You looked so hot!)
World Cup 2003. We reached the finals. But lost out badly. Disappointed, we were. For once, Dravid didn't ask for a treat. Thank God he shut up. Why didn't he ask for a treat? Beause he was busy with something else. Ahem. Someone else. He finally got married. In a secret affair to a doctor. Wow. Lovesick, Rahul was and we didn't even know about it. Treat treat treat treat, I bugged him. He simply blushed. Me and Sachin smirked. Welcome to hell, mate.
We matched Australia in their own den. 1-1. My century at Brisbane showed the freaks what I was all about. Sachin, Dravid, Laxman,Sehwag= I wanted to marry all of them. They were too, too good. Irfan Pathan's debut. I knew he had it in him. I came back home. Dona had given up on me. She simply smiled when I talked about them in my sleep. Awww. I love her.
We won in Pakistan after 50 years in 2004. My own form troubled a bit.
Australia came to our home next. The Nagpur test changed my life. And our dear coach. Greg Chappell. I was dropped from captaincy. I went inside the dressing room to pack my bags. Dravid and Sachin didn't know what to tell me. But I understood. Things were going to change professionally. But our personal equation was never going to change. I smiled and asked Dravid for a treat: He was going to be the new captain.
India did well under Dravid's captaincy. He called me after each match. He didn't want the job. He wanted me back. I cried after every call. Didn't he know how badly I wanted to be in the team, if not captain?
You freaks, you media assholes. You don't know when to talk and when to shut up, right? Reports that I had an animated discussion with Dravid because I wanted to open. Oh damn you.
In 2006, my gritty 30's in Karachi, where we lost badly and sadly, didn't help my cause. I was dropped. Again. I went to the dressing room, to collect my bags, to go home. We were men ageing from 25 to 35, in the team. But we didn't behave like one. Everyone cried that evening.
I was back. (drumroll in the background) I raped the South Africans, England team and then Pakistan, single handedly. My first hundred at home (Thank you, Kolkata. Thank you, so much)
My first double hundred-239 at Bangalore (Dravid treated me this time. Hehehe)
Dhoni, is a fine lad. Reports of him and us seniors, being at logger heads and crap, is absolute crap. God bless him. We need Indian captains like him. I knew Yuvraj would do well. He still hails me for everything he does. Blushes.
IPL. Kolkata Knight Riders had its side of controversies. Blah blah blah. Gah.
Surprisingly, I was dropped from the CB series in Australia. Dravid was dropped too. Before, we used to abuse some well chosen gaalis. But now we had grown up. Grown old, I mean.
We won, we didn't complain. We can do anything to see the dejected look on Australian's faces. Even stay out of the team, if India wins.
Me and Dravid had a poor run against Sri Lanka, when we visited them. We discussed retirement. No ways, we both laughed.
I was omitted from the Rest of India squad in the Irani trophy. I don't know what happened. I talked with Dona. I decided I had to retire, after the Australia series. I talked with my team next. Dravid was surprised, but he hid it well. Even Laxman, Sachin. They wanted me to stay, but didn't tell me. I know them too well. But unfortunately, I knew myself better. I couldn't stay any longer.
Thanks to all my fanatics, fans. Thanks to all the anti-Dada people out there; thanks for adding the grey effect to my career. It has been a colourful one.
Love,
Dada.
Just one last thing, lads,
Should Dravid treat me or should I treat him after we win the series against Australia? Or should we take a combined treat from Sachin when he crosses the 77 runs mark? Yeah, that would be a wise thing. Hahahaha. I should tell Dravid and Laxman and the whole team in advance, so that Sachin can't back out. But then, he's used to immense pressure always. Maybe he'll just ignore us? Damnit.
DISCLAIMER- IT'S ALL MY IMAGINATION, WHICH HAS BEEN AS USUAL EXAGGERATED. AN APOLOGY TO PEOPLE WHO FOUND IT DEROGATORY OR UN-AMUSING. I COULDN'T WRITE A TEARFUL TRIBUTE TO GANGULY, BECAUSE I CAN'T DO THAT. HE DESERVES A CHEERFUL ONE.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
I miss you....
Yay! Been almost 1 month since my sister left, and I haven't cribbed about missing her...Let all the frustration come out now...
It seems like a house, when I go home. No one ready with a cup of coffee and a smile, to listen to my endless chatter. No one to wipe the vessels while I hover around her, and put the vessels inside. She never said a word when I left the vessels midway and ran to watch K serials. No one to give me dirty looks and sarcastic remarks while I watched Ekta Kapoor serials. An empty bed with my 3 dolls, and all the space to roll around sucks. No one to talk to till 2 in the morning and then bang my legs on her while I sleep. No one to press my knees in the morning when they ache. She never forgot to hug me before I left for college or anywhere. No one messaging me those long sms when I'm bored in class. No one to support Nadal when I support Federer.(and abuse Nadal constantly) (Irony that Nadal became no. 1 after she left for U.S.A, only) No one to tell non veg. jokes and get a dirty look added by a naughty smirk in reply. No one to pray to God to forgive her for the sins she never committed, when Dad, Mom and I crack susu, toilet jokes during dinner. No one getting awesome grades and running to tell me first about it, and then the rest of the world. No one preaching me. (and the preaching actually working on me) No one to share my crushes (Hehehe. Although, despite, the distance, we still have common crushes) No one to go shopping with, and get irritated at when she's confused between 5 tops and 10 jeans. No one to check out new shopping malls which open in Ahmedabad. No one to exchange bored looks with, during marriages and relative visiting sessions. No one to correct the errors in my blog (no wonder, the fan club for my blog has decreased now.Hmmph!!) No one to take me to eat makkai on the roads.
No one to love. Adore. Be mesmerized by.
(Nevertheless, there's Mom and Dad. Not taking away anything from them. But they are MOM and DAD. Not SISTER....)
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you....
Forgive the sentiness (I hope you got what I want to say, since, sentiness is not a word, and I don't have my dictionary=my sister to get the proper word.) Henceforth, I shall keep my senti crap to myself.....
It seems like a house, when I go home. No one ready with a cup of coffee and a smile, to listen to my endless chatter. No one to wipe the vessels while I hover around her, and put the vessels inside. She never said a word when I left the vessels midway and ran to watch K serials. No one to give me dirty looks and sarcastic remarks while I watched Ekta Kapoor serials. An empty bed with my 3 dolls, and all the space to roll around sucks. No one to talk to till 2 in the morning and then bang my legs on her while I sleep. No one to press my knees in the morning when they ache. She never forgot to hug me before I left for college or anywhere. No one messaging me those long sms when I'm bored in class. No one to support Nadal when I support Federer.(and abuse Nadal constantly) (Irony that Nadal became no. 1 after she left for U.S.A, only) No one to tell non veg. jokes and get a dirty look added by a naughty smirk in reply. No one to pray to God to forgive her for the sins she never committed, when Dad, Mom and I crack susu, toilet jokes during dinner. No one getting awesome grades and running to tell me first about it, and then the rest of the world. No one preaching me. (and the preaching actually working on me) No one to share my crushes (Hehehe. Although, despite, the distance, we still have common crushes) No one to go shopping with, and get irritated at when she's confused between 5 tops and 10 jeans. No one to check out new shopping malls which open in Ahmedabad. No one to exchange bored looks with, during marriages and relative visiting sessions. No one to correct the errors in my blog (no wonder, the fan club for my blog has decreased now.Hmmph!!) No one to take me to eat makkai on the roads.
No one to love. Adore. Be mesmerized by.
(Nevertheless, there's Mom and Dad. Not taking away anything from them. But they are MOM and DAD. Not SISTER....)
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you....
Forgive the sentiness (I hope you got what I want to say, since, sentiness is not a word, and I don't have my dictionary=my sister to get the proper word.) Henceforth, I shall keep my senti crap to myself.....
Thursday, October 2, 2008
The tune that hit the right note....
I have my Constitutional Law-III project submission tomorrow. Also, I have my Law of Evidence test on the 5th. And I'm not even a Muslim to give an excuse of celebrating Ramzan. And I'm not related to Mahatma Gandhi to celebrate/mourn on Gandhi Jayanti. But I'm sitting at my computer since afternoon, listening to songs.
It's something that's troubling me since a long, long time. I've been feeling lost. Not at peace. Distracted. Due to various events. First the exams. Then, the sports meet. Now, it's, I don't know what.
Obviously, your friends can't be 24* 7 with you. And can't understand you, which is impossible when you yourself can't understand what's going on. I hope I'm making it clear what is happening. But there has been something which has always been there with me. Whenever, wherever I need it.
It's music that's always given me solace.
My sister and I used to play the keyboard. She was a natural at it (Yes, she's picture perfect. A topper who doesn't smoke, booze, drugs nothing, who dances, plays the keyboard, a 5'5 Deepika Padukone in badminton (see she's short, and so it's an advantage. Deepika would be taller than most guys, right?). What more do you want? Oh, she's single, btw.) She used to teach me the Bollywood tunes and we used to bajao it as a duet and our mom used to shed tears of joy.
We stopped it in class 9th or something. I have been thinking about our keyboard since a really long time. Today, I was home, since it was Gandhi Jayanti. Should I play the keyboard? What about the Constitutional Law project? And the test? Would I be able to get a single tune right? Sis wasn't even there to help me out. Sigh.
But I did it. I was off. I got out the dusty keyboard. (Do I sound like those guys in Rock On!!? I'm not intentionally doing it. I'm just replaying what happened.) I cleaned it up, all the time praying that it would work and a mouse hadn't gone inside the keyboard or a lizard hadn't gone in and died or something. The damn adapter didn't work, so I needed batteries. I brought out 3 new batteries, 2 of which were supposed to be used for our T.V. remote. A quick apology to Mom who had gone to a friend's place and I didn't accompany her because I was supposedly busy with my projects. (quickly shrugging off my guilty conscience) I needed 2 more batteries. Another quick apology to Mom, as I raped my T.V. remote and snatched away both its balls,-errr- batteries.
It still didn't work. I was close to tears.
Then, I remembered I was an idiot. I had put the batteries the wrong way, the Einstein I was, as somebody called me. I repaired the damage.
It bloody God damned worked then. A few ping ping pongs sang out as I tried it on. Whoa.
7 years, since I last played any tune.
My first tune, which I learnt was the song "Bholi si surat" from Dil to Pagal Hai.
I tried it. Played it at the 1st attempt without a single mistake.
I simply sat there. The feeling was sinking in. I didn't know what I was feeling.
I tried playing out "Socha Hai" from Rock on!! Tried a few notes here and there. The batteries stopped working and started acting weirdly.
Tried it for a while, then had to give up.
Resolved to get the adapter fixed, when this semester ends, and play the keyboard religiously.
I was finally feeling myself. Things were finally looking up.
Some nice musical quotes:-
If I were to begin life again, I would devote it to music. It is the only cheap and unpunished rapture upon earth. ~Sydney Smith
Without music life would be a mistake. ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. ~Maya Angelou, Gather Together in My Name
You are the music, while the music lasts. ~ T.S. Elliot.
I love music. ~ Madhuri Iyer. And I'm sure this sentiment is shared by all of you, out there.
I had to keep the keyboard on my table after giving it a pat (which my sis and I always did!)
I continued working on my project. But this time, with a smile on my face.
It's something that's troubling me since a long, long time. I've been feeling lost. Not at peace. Distracted. Due to various events. First the exams. Then, the sports meet. Now, it's, I don't know what.
Obviously, your friends can't be 24* 7 with you. And can't understand you, which is impossible when you yourself can't understand what's going on. I hope I'm making it clear what is happening. But there has been something which has always been there with me. Whenever, wherever I need it.
It's music that's always given me solace.
My sister and I used to play the keyboard. She was a natural at it (Yes, she's picture perfect. A topper who doesn't smoke, booze, drugs nothing, who dances, plays the keyboard, a 5'5 Deepika Padukone in badminton (see she's short, and so it's an advantage. Deepika would be taller than most guys, right?). What more do you want? Oh, she's single, btw.) She used to teach me the Bollywood tunes and we used to bajao it as a duet and our mom used to shed tears of joy.
We stopped it in class 9th or something. I have been thinking about our keyboard since a really long time. Today, I was home, since it was Gandhi Jayanti. Should I play the keyboard? What about the Constitutional Law project? And the test? Would I be able to get a single tune right? Sis wasn't even there to help me out. Sigh.
But I did it. I was off. I got out the dusty keyboard. (Do I sound like those guys in Rock On!!? I'm not intentionally doing it. I'm just replaying what happened.) I cleaned it up, all the time praying that it would work and a mouse hadn't gone inside the keyboard or a lizard hadn't gone in and died or something. The damn adapter didn't work, so I needed batteries. I brought out 3 new batteries, 2 of which were supposed to be used for our T.V. remote. A quick apology to Mom who had gone to a friend's place and I didn't accompany her because I was supposedly busy with my projects. (quickly shrugging off my guilty conscience) I needed 2 more batteries. Another quick apology to Mom, as I raped my T.V. remote and snatched away both its balls,-errr- batteries.
It still didn't work. I was close to tears.
Then, I remembered I was an idiot. I had put the batteries the wrong way, the Einstein I was, as somebody called me. I repaired the damage.
It bloody God damned worked then. A few ping ping pongs sang out as I tried it on. Whoa.
7 years, since I last played any tune.
My first tune, which I learnt was the song "Bholi si surat" from Dil to Pagal Hai.
I tried it. Played it at the 1st attempt without a single mistake.
I simply sat there. The feeling was sinking in. I didn't know what I was feeling.
I tried playing out "Socha Hai" from Rock on!! Tried a few notes here and there. The batteries stopped working and started acting weirdly.
Tried it for a while, then had to give up.
Resolved to get the adapter fixed, when this semester ends, and play the keyboard religiously.
I was finally feeling myself. Things were finally looking up.
Some nice musical quotes:-
If I were to begin life again, I would devote it to music. It is the only cheap and unpunished rapture upon earth. ~Sydney Smith
Without music life would be a mistake. ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. ~Maya Angelou, Gather Together in My Name
You are the music, while the music lasts. ~ T.S. Elliot.
I love music. ~ Madhuri Iyer. And I'm sure this sentiment is shared by all of you, out there.
I had to keep the keyboard on my table after giving it a pat (which my sis and I always did!)
I continued working on my project. But this time, with a smile on my face.
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