Boys.What is it like to be a boy? I always thought,as a kid that if u scratch ur crotch, ur a guy.But then when I was browsing through my childhood pics and saw one pic when I was grinning with my hands on my....u get the pic, don't you ?
I hate guys to the core. Why?
1) They are the laziest creatures on earth. All of them. And u end up doing their work, grumbling all the way, knowing they are supposed to do it and u aren't. Their "pleases" and zillion promises of not insulting Rahul Dravid ever again or promises of buying u a chocolate and flashing a convincing smile makes u fall for the trick again and again and again and yeah, again....
2) They are so chilled out unlike girls who squeak if their nail colour is light pink and not pink. They are chilled out when he breaks off with his gf unlike girls who weep even after 5 years of the breakup. Chill, anyway it wasn't working out, he says. They are chilled out and arrive at the airport 30 seconds before the flight is going to leave unlike girls who are there at the airport 2 hours before the flight leaves.
But when Sachin gets out on 99, it's the end of world for them.They'll be sulking in their rooms for a fortnight.
3) Money matters to them. They think 10 times before buying a 2 rs. chocolate. They don't have the cash to go out for dinner with you but they have the cash to celebrate India's win over Bangladesh.
4) Sleep. Another important thing. They can sleep at any time, any place. On the pavement outside a hotel. On the railway station. (YUCK!!) On the streets.
5) Ideal match. They look for perfection. Perfect face, perfect figure, smart, affectionate as well as PDA, flirting as well as shy, reserved as well as social butterfly, introvert as well as extrovert. And when u ask for a perfect guy they say with a smug smile, "You won't have a hard time finding one. There are so many." They talk like perfect guys are like mosquitos and flies in Gandhinagar, so many in number. Anyone's ok for u, yaar, they say.....and they continue cribbing about finding their "perfect girl".
6) They themselves are perverts and make a disgusting face as if they are nuns when u make a small non veg crack in front of them.
7) Moody. When u are moody, they say ur always depressed. You are always sulky. You and ur mood swings. When they are moody, they say it's just being themselves (whatever that means : )
8) Teasing. Not the eve teasing, teasing and irritating u. Guys have a Phd in it. They can tease u with the mess wala to the Professor and make u clasp ur hands till u say sorry u ever teased them. Irritate the hell outta u. I actually say Rahul Dravid is the worst guy ever just coz I have to shut the guy's mouth. It's better me saying he's bad rather than them, right? :-(
9) Temper. When they are angry, ur supposed to keep away. When we are angry, they laugh at ur face and say u look cute when ur angry (again, whatever that means :) and smile and keep laughing at ur red angry face.
10) They smoke like hell, and specially when a friend does it, it kills u to see them do that but then again its their life.And I'm pleased to see them fag away to death.One guy less on earth :-P lol. Same with boozing. But then again, even girls do it...
11) Male Chauvinistic pigs. They say we are inferior and can't do anything. And sulk when u do whatever they claim u can't do. And yeah, they love it when u ask them to exercise their macho powers. Oh brother.
12) Sense of humour. They can make a joke out of anything ranging from a girl's ear ring to her shoes to her nail colour. Anything. And specially when they whisper something into another guys's ear, trust me don't ask them what they just said. Don't bother, it's not worth it.
Guys are pigs, and they know it, which is the best part of them :-P It's useless hating them when u know u can't stop loving them at the same time.... :-)