Friday, July 20, 2007


I ran as fast as my long legs could carry me and climbed aboard the bus to Ahmedabad.I looked inside and narrowed my eyes.But not for long.A man gave me a push and I clutched the conductor's seat to save myself from falling flat on my face.I muttered the usual "damn son of a bitch" at the unfortunate asshole who pushed me, and sighed and surveyed the crowd.(the word 'crowd's an understatement) The conductor yelled "ticket, behn?" in my ears at that very moment. I pulled out Rs. 14 and
handed it over to him."Paldi?" he questioned after he handed over a Paldi ticket. Obviously, u dumbass.Something tickled my legs.I shook my leg and concentrated on balancing myself on the "rocking" bus.Something tickled me again.Something actually moved on to my thighs then.I snapped out of my day dreaming session and looked down.Oh no, I
groaned.It was a kid.Moving his grubby hands full of saliva over my new jeans.And his mother was smiling at me and him.I gave a weak smile and shook his hand off my jeans.But no.He did not get the hint.He tugged again and again at my poor jeans.He had the balls to pinch me then.I controlled my temper since I didn't wanna get into a fight in a crowded bus and use my wonderful abuse vocabulary. I looked at his mom pleadingly and she smiled at me.I looked away in desperation.And then.I felt a hand on my hand.I looked slowly at the owner of the hand.It was the kid's mom.Her long nails, painted in shocking silver was firm on my hand.And she was smiling.There was something strange about that smile.I shook her hand and then had a huge shock as I wasn't holding onto anything for my balancing act and the bus stopped at Sabarmati with a jerk.I clung onto the same handle again and the lady's hand was yet again on mine.Her nails dug on firmly into my hand and there was no escaping.I was busy thinking about the cost of a rickshaw from Sabarmati to Paldi if I got down then and there.And then she said the magical words.She was getting down at Vadaj which wasn't far from there.I beamed at her.And I immediately regretted this impulsive act of mine and I looked away as she beamed back.And then I turned my back on her.Mistake number 2398234 of the day for me.I forgot my main lesson I learnt in karate, never show your back to your opponent.And I committed that insane mistake.The lady was resting her head on my back.I cursed my family for passing on their 'tall genes' to me and I shook her head off.Vadaj was nearing.I was restless.I turned and scanned the remaining people on the bus.My eyes stopped onto 2 Muslim guys.Oh La La.One with yellowish eyes.Tall.Fair.That unshaven, mysterious look.I thought back to the conversation I had with my friends about "real men".I cursed him for not taking law and coming to GNLU.I realized I had been staring at him and I was too distracted to notice that the kid was tugging inside my bag and the lady was eyeing the contents of the bag.My toothbrush peeped out.The lady just looked at me strangely.Yeah right, woman.I'm running away from my home in Gandhinagar and
meeting my boyfriend in Ahmedabad and I'm going to spend the night with him.And then came VADAJ.The woman got down with her million suitcases and the kid cheerfully waved his Good Day biscuit packet at
me and hopped off the bus.The rest of the journey was uneventful.The Muslim guy was in his own world to notice that I existed.I pondered over my single status and I shrugged off my depression and thought about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.My thoughts went back to the kid and his mom.

Always the optimistic, I thought about the positive outcomes I had
during the journey with the two.
1) The journey did not seem that long as I was distracted cursing him and his mom.
2) Lesbianism can be found even among the most orthodox women in Gujarat.
3) Even kids can be perverts.

Paldi, Paldi, Paldi, yelled the conductor. The Muslim guy too got down at Paldi and went to the side where Bank Of India, Paldi branch was situated. I prayed to God that Mom got transferred there and the Muslim guy had an account there.I smiled in satisfaction as I sat in the rickshaw to finally go home.Home sweet home.No wonder I CANNOT come home every weekend.


vineet said...

really cool......i can really imagine dat bus scene gud u can really be a script writer or u can write screenplay of ny bollywood movie ny day..........go maddy go

Mads said...

thanks a lot,vineet....i wud rather do the acting rather than script writing...but anyways..thanks a lot... :)

wizard o wizy said...

oye madhu .....kya yaar baccho ki raggin leti hain........oye waise yeh V kaun hain......woh lallu hain kya yaar.........hmmm y these blore guys um 2 guj gud question u shud ask V abut this maybe he wud knw ;)

ashish said...

its really cool what u r writen in your profile finally it is very good & beautiful and nice ok bhy

peter said...

alright's insane for me to search ur last post and drop down a comment but had nothing better to time pass with :D

so u ver like this only since ages LOL:))
it was ur 1st post yet captivating ..bus scene, muslim guy & ur weird fantasies ..u r too much ....yeah but u are Madhuri iyer
& that's one and unique piece of funny soul in the wrld :D..!!

Mads said...

@ashish..thanks for the comment :)

Mads said...

@peter :"> lol.thanks for having enough time to see my 1st ever post n comment on it :P thanks :)

Nidhi said...

\:D/ i read it too
paldi paldi paldi.. lol\
muslim guys are hot,,

Mads said...

\:d/ thanks for reading :D and yeah muslim guys are something else....mmmm.. :"> :D

BIG Omi said...

Hey naya blog! welcome to blogger :P

Gawd y theres so much fuss about muslim guys????? (Y god Y) :P

so ur fantasy about harry pooter is dated back to ur first post eh?? kool ! Have a nice weekend!!

lols at lesbian incident!! :D

sulo badri said...

my! what lessons ;D

Sourav !!! said...


..Yes, kids can be pervert :P
I like your peeping toothbrush :D

And I'm weird enough to find people's post and leave a this to it :P