So, I was sitting on my bed, reading ‘The Glass Palace’ by
Amitav Ghosh (It’s lovely, btw), when I suddenly wanted to call Mom. We usually
talk at 9, so I waited. I called up at sharp 9 and my call was on wait. It has
happened before, c’mon, my mom is a normal insaan, she gets calls all the time.
But my intuition said something was wrong, and I just knew what was wrong. She
called back after sometime and made small talk (which she sucks at). Before I
could poke her about what was wrong, she broke it to me. My grandmother (Patti)
had passed away. And the creepy part was
that I felt it, right from 8:30, which was kind of the time of her death.
I didn’t cry as much as I cried when my grandpa (Thatha)
passed away, because of the circumstances (I work, so I had to be professional
and all that, so I couldn’t go with red rimmed eyes and a headache the next
day) Yes, I wanted to go to Chennai but my parents told me not to come because
it’s not worth going all the way, just for a day, that too when she is no more.
I dressed up without looking at the mirror the next day. I
couldn’t see the mirror because when I saw myself, I saw Patti. She was, of
course, definitely more good looking than me, but we resemble a lot. When I
tried to recall till what standard she studied, or some of her stories when she
was small, I realized with a jolt that I did not know anything about her
childhood. Her father was a Doctor, and she wanted to become a Doctor too, but
couldn’t, because she had to look after her brothers and sisters. It was always
Thatha who ran the show. He talked on and on about his life, while quiet Patti
cooked for us, washed and folded our clothes. She didn’t study that much, but I
clearly remember her grinning and tell us (me and my sis) about her grandfather
boasting that his grandkid reads English newspaper :D
She used to be very inquisitive about everything. She poked
her nose in whatever textbooks my sister and I used to read. I used to wonder
why she read the heading of the textbooks or opened them to browse. I never
asked her. I should have.
She hated cricket and always supported the opposite team, be
it Australia or Pakistan. And whenever she told Pak or Aus would win, they
always won K
I remember the Sharjah cup when Sachin went berserk, my
sister, Thatha, mom and I went berserk too. We didn’t let Patti sleep the whole
night by thoroughly discussing all the matches. We slept the next day till 10,
but sweet Patti, had a disturbed sleep all night, but she was still up by 4 to
cook for the house. And no complaints from her, just a scowl when we informed
her that India won :P
I wish I had learnt to cook from her. I wish I hadn’t
snatched the remote from her to watch my random serials or cartoons, which made
her sleep early that day, out of lack of anything better to do.
I wish I had forced her to tell more stories about her life.
She never spoke about how her father in law used to insult her in his letters
to my grandpa. She never spoke about how she felt when my grandpa came to see
her for marriage. But she always went inside another room when my grandpa spoke
about the first time he saw her. And a pink faced Patti would emerge from that
room after a while :P Once at an airport, one random lady had told my granny
that she is very beautiful. My grandmom blushed so hard when she told this to
us.
She had weak bones, she fell down a lot of times, in a lot
of places. Once, she fell down while climbing an auto, and she was very quiet
when she was home. As usual, I asked her how she was feeling and there were no
injuries or anything, so I went back to Thatha or doing some other crap. My
sister used to sit down, more with Patti and talk to her, so my sis later told
me that Patti was upset because she felt embarrassed when people had to help
her when she fell down. She was always independent, so her last few years were
terrible. She had Alzheimer’s, almost, immediately after Thatha passed away,
for 3 years. Her last memory of me, was
that I was still in college. I could never give her a reason to finally be
proud of me, that I was working in a different city and living independently.
She used to always tell me and my sister that we look great.
Frankly, I started looking good only in college… How could she even think I
look good, forget great, when I was in school ?!?! I never asked her why she
lied to me on my face.
I had called her during my college internship in Delhi. She
asked me if I had found any hot guys. She was this traditional, orthodox woman,
who would have really liked it if I married a Tamilian, same caste and all
that, but for some reason, she always asked me if I found any good looking boy.
I never asked her why she did that.
My sister and I, at some point of time, decided to say ‘I
love you’ to my grandparents every time we talked. I think we read it in Cosmo
or Femina or somewhere that you should keep letting your grandparents know that
you love them :P The result was awesome, my grandpa used to gush and say, I
love you too or I miss you. And my granny? She said “Hmmm…okay.” I was aghast
when I heard that, and I wailed “You don’t love me!” And she dryly replied “Ok
ok I love you” I think my future boyfriend also wouldn’t create a racket like
this to profuse his love for me, man! I was adamant, and I went on, “How much
do you love me, Patti?” And she replied,
“BIG BIG BIG BIG!”
I never told her that, THAT was the cutest I love you, I
have ever, ever got, and I ever, ever will get.
There was this one time, when my sister and I had called
them and my granny picked up. As usual, I demanded that she should give the
phone to my grandpa, because as I said, my grandpa was always in the limelight,
so I hardly talked a lot to my granny (Sorry Patti, I’ll not do that in our
next life together) And my granny tried unsuccessfully to put an accent, and
she went like “He has gone to the market. Who is calling?” I squealed with
excitement and shouted “PATTIIIIIIIIII” and she sniggered and told, “This is
his secretary speaking.” Not to be outdone, I asked her why he has gone to the
market, and she replied, “Gone to buy bhajji. Do you have any message?” (All
this in pure English, I swear)
I never reminded her about this conversation and I never
told her how cool she was, and the accent she put on, was ACTUALLY good.
My grandparents used to travel by Navjivan Express every
summer to visit my family. My granny fell down in the bathroom many times. Plus
it was more than a 24 hours journey. I never asked her how she put up with all
that, just to come to a place which didn’t suit her.
She stitched cushions and made a sofa out of thermocal for
my barbies. And even made tea for my tea set (which but obviously my dolls
never drank, and I ended up throwing their share) and gave me biscuits for my
kitchen set. And she put up with me, when I woke her from her nap, saying I was
hungry or the dolls were hungry or asking her if I should dress one Barbie up
in a mini skirt or in full pants.
She never asked me what I wanted to become, she never asked
me what my grades were like, she never criticized me for my bad temper, she
never advised me about anything. I never realized this either. My grandpa had
these questions for me, but my grandma never had. She was actually the only
person who never questioned my actions, but continued loving me.
Grandmothers are special and I lost my second and last
special person in my life. And I know I am not going to get unconditional love
from anyone, anywhere, ever again.
P.S.- Grammar and Formatting Nazis can please try not to do a Madhuri and point out my mistakes here. My granny passed away on 5th June, 2012, in case anyone wants to know...
