What handsome men can do to women.

Amazing what handsome hunks can do to women, irrespective of their age....
My grandmom was having some serious problems in walking. (Flashback: Grandma married early and used to take care of her brothers and sisters and her children right from a really young age, inspite of only having studied till high school, speaks wow English and supports Aussies and calls my Dravid and my Team India a bunch of losers. Anyway, since she used to bustle around the house at full flow, her poor bones aren't working properly now. Anyway, back to the present....) She could walk with the help of a walking stick but she was psychologically negative and thought she was old and weak and frail and almost never walked around the house.
Our family doctor had a brainwave and the brainwave came to our house, in the form of a physiotherapist. Mom used to tell me daily in the hostel, whenever I called up that grandma is walking around in full josh but I wasn't totally convinced, since grandma always was negative about herself.
Then came Tuesday, when I was tearing home, along with Dad who luckily was hanging around and was driving me home, we were about to turn inside our front gate, when I saw him.
He stopped and gave a wow smile and said, "Hi uncle."
Hi, yourself, I nearly told him....Dad grinned at him and said, "Hi, kaam ho gaya?"
Wow, dad already likes his new son-in-law. And what do you mean kaam ho gaya? Abhi to bahut kaam baaki hai tumhare saath. I was spellbounded by this cute guy.
"Yes, uncle." He grinned again and glanced one of the tinniest glances at my gaping face staring unblinkingly at him.
And he got onto his bike and rode off.
"WHO WAS THAT? " I roared to my dad. "He's cute, man."
Dad gave a Santa Claus type laugh+roar ha-ha-ha and said, "Cute, huh? He's Patti (grandma)'s physiotherapist."
I ran up the stairs and flew into grandmom's room. Her face was flushed with happiness and she was glowing. "I walked 3 times in the hall today." she boasted to me.
She went on about how much he encouraged her to walk. How much he told her to enjoy life, to be happy again. How much he helped her by those small exercises.
I didn't get to see him ever again, since Patti's now in Chennai and roams around the house and cutely fights with Thatha (grandpa) and me over the phone whether India will win the next series or not.
Note to the physiotherapist:
Sorry dude, you didn't get the privilige to be my husband.
But I'm indebted to you for making my grandma walk and talk like a little teenage girl today.

Love is beautiful or painful ?

I was forced into having(and thankfully so!!) this conversation with a very good friend of mine...Is Love beautiful or painful? Without thinking (as usual) I jumped at the first option, of course, Love is beautiful!! She gave me a thoughtful look and her mischievous smile turned into an ironical smile and said, "Yup, love is beautiful..but 98% of it is painful..." I gave her a "you're-the-stupidest-person-on-earth,I'm-the-experienced-scholar-around-her look and said, "C'mon yaar, you can't say that....Love is always blissful, love is always beautiful...When you need him around, he's always there, when he's not around, you miss him, when you...". My friend cut me off and said,"See!!"
Then, I finally saw.
Love is painful, most of the time, as my friend rightly pointed out. Even if he's late for 5 mins, those 5 minutes seem ages for you and you miss him. If he's in a bad mood and he is cold and indifferent to you, you are hurt and sad. If you don't see him for a day, your heart aches to see him. If you and he disagree on the smallest of all things, both of you get pissed. You talk over the phone for hours together and he asks you to tell him that you love him and the phone gets disconnected. Anger, sorrow, misery, agony, 10001 emotions go through your heart.
Get the picture, don't you? When in love, itself, you experience pain, almost every single moment.
Oh these emotions. What the heck. Who am I to complain when I gotta live with them.....

When a sweetheart turns into a double headed,ugly monster........

NOTE: THIS IS NO TRUE LIFE INCIDENT AND ANY TRUE LIFE INCIDENT WHICH IS SIMILAR TO THE BELOW MENTIONED INCIDENT IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL AND THIS PIECE OF WORK IS PURELY THE AUTHORESS'S WILD IMAGINATION.

What happens when a beautiful girl turns into an ugly,sadist,cunning witch the very next second?You ask, is it witchcraft?Yes, it is.The craft of witches,witchcraft, and the craft of us bitches, bitchcraft..err we shall stick to the use of the term "bitching", thank you.

Our protagonist....Asking another girl....
"Hey baby, how was your day? You didn't go to college today? Whyyyyyyy?Ohhh, sweets, don't cry baby,tell me what's wrong naa?"
Our listener drinks in all the gossip after taking sacred vows and promises and oaths of not spilling the deep,dark secret outside the four walls in the room.After drinking in, she reacts..
"Oh don't worry sweetheart,he was an asshole of the highest order anyways.You are much better off without him.Why do you care if there is another girl in his life? She must be some cheap B grade female." And she gives her a warm hug and leaves the room...
Our listener now goes to another room and.....
"Oye, you know what? Don't tell this to anyone." Again, after promises and oaths of not spilling the secrets which are like the much hyped Indian-cricket-team's-strategy-against-the-mighty-Australians, she reveals it all, in this manner...."That bitch finally broke off with my guy, u know.I mean, about time he tells her he likes someone else, yaa!!! She's crying her eyes out now.Hey, why you feeling sorry for her? It's her fault, you know. She couldn't have been so blind to realize he loves me all this while. Oops, gotta go, I got a call, Cya.."
On the phone.......
"Hey baby....Yeah, I miss you too...It's so good to hear your voice...I'm coming home after some weeks or so, will meet you then....Love you too..Hey, I got a call, it's important, I'll talk to you later, honey.Byeeee".
She smiled smugly and set out to meet her boyfriend who had given the customary missed call for their customary evening walk. She passed the girl who was still crying, ignored her this time and she and her boyfriend exchanged smirks and held hands and walked on.......

The Encounter of the Worst Kind....

I stopped right in my tracks when I saw him. Half of me wanted to turn back and run away. Half of me wanted to walk past him quickly.I knew he had already seen me. Turning my back on him, I made my way back to my hostel slowly.I heard a noise behind and I knew he was following me. He was gaining onto me. I walked faster.A friend of mine had advised me not to run away when I saw him, so unusual as it might sound, I was following her advice.I walked faster and told myself not to look behind, but my eyes couldn't help themselves and my eyes fidgeted.He was still following me, his eyes boring into my eyes.
I couldn't help myself.I turned back and asked him to get lost.He simply stared at me.Fine,I said,a bit scared now.I took my own advice and got lost.I walked swiftly.I went inside the hostel and dared him to come inside.He wondered for a while and then took a step ahead.No,I prayed.Suddenly,he looked the other way and ran for his life.I looked across to see my batchmate laughing away to glory.
"Good thing I showed him my fist"he boasted."Look at him running away", he laughed again."C'mon,you're scared of him? You're a coward, you know...." I rolled my eyes and congratulated him for being a guy as he ranted on about the benefits of being a guy.
I smiled, visibly relieved.
Yes,I hate dogs.

Look behind before talking and Bye Bye Gilly.......

Haven't updated my blog for months, since I've been busy watching my words. People often ask me to think before I act. I try to, but it's just being me when I spit out whatever comes on my tongue. That's an offence people often forget and forgive me. But what happens when Big Mouth's mouth works on and on and the subject of the discussion is standing right behind u, gazing daggers at the back of your head? Madhuri, of course, has the answer.......

During breaktime in the mess.......

"Hey, guess what, that junior XYZ likes my batchmate ABC !!!", an over excited me, gushing over the listener.
"Err...", the listener, who's eyes are fidgeting behind me and trying to say something with his eyes.
"Arre, don't look there, u listen to me naa! I'm sure even ABC likes XYZ !!! Really !! You think we should do something for them?", a still over excited me, wanting to play Cupid.
"Ummm...."the listener, who's eyes are fixed behind me.
"What!! What the....." I turn back irritated, just to see ABC's eyes boring into mine looking a mixture of irritation, annoyance, anger, all in one glance while the listener gives a "I told you" lecture and Madhuri is speechless and looks down at the floor, hoping it'll open up and she could sink inside.....

So, basically I've been watching my words these days, and life's going on a pretty straight forward path nowadays, thank goodness for that......

The conversation moves on to my favourite topic, cricket, one topic which people would not even bother to eavesdrop on......
Adam Gilchrist, one of the finest gentlemen to grace the cricket arena is finally retiring. It was truly a heart break to see him go off, weeping !!!!!!! Hurts, when he couldn't produce a fine end to his career, I don't give a damn even if his opposition was India. His wicketkeeping, his batting, his on and off field gestures, are all I'm gonna thorougly miss henceforth. I couldn't hold back my tears when I saw a Steve Waugh, an Inzy or a Lara or more recently a Gilly retiring. I can't imagine what's gonna go through me when a certain Sachin, Sourav and Rahul retire. I can only pray to the Lord, that they sign off in style. Change the topic, I dread to think of the day Indian cricket's gonna lose the Big Three.

Two quotes, before I sign off, from Adam Gilchrist, Gilly or Churchie.....

"I now know what Sachin Tendulkar feels every time he bats in India." Adam Gilchrist soaks it up while batting in his final Twenty20 in front of a packed MCG

"I was bawling my eyes out about two minutes before the final session." Adam Gilchrist reveals his softer side while delivering his final oration as a Test player

I'm already missing you, Gilly........

Some more Dad Jokes, on demand.....

Apparently, my blog readers LOL and ROFL more, hearing my Dad's jokes than my jokes. No, I don't care, my ego is not hurt.I will continue cracking poorer than the poorest jokes till I reach his esteemed level.

I had written a previous post on my Dad's Jokes, so here's a sequel to them
(For all the new readers, check out the label of Dad Jokes to read them)

(Some names and subject matter have been changed for my safety)

1)At work, there was a guy called Vikram working with my Dad.There was another guy along with him and on that particular day, the other guy had not appeared for work.
My Dad rocks. He calls Vikram and asks,
"Oye Vikram. Betaal kaha hai??"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2)I met a guy called Kamalpreet Puri who was living near my cousin's place when I went to Mumbai for a short holiday. I used to daily crib about him to my parents. The day before I was supposed to come back to Ahmedabad,my mom asked me whether I wanted something special for dinner that night,when I arrived.Before I could answer, she giggled at something Dad said.
"She will want to eat anything except Puri."
Hahahahaha. Right!! :-P

3)My mom got this sticker of OM as a gift at some religious function she had attended.She stuck that OM sticker on her bedroom door.
That night,Dad returned from work and peered at the door.What followed next was yet another inevitable wise crack.
"Now that your mom has stuck this OM sticker, our home will become (H)OM(E) SWEET (H)OM(E)"
Lol :-P

And here's one of MY JOKES :-D (No no, I haven't made this up.Sigh.The ones I make up are too...*ahem*..to be put here. Shhhh shhhh my mom reads my blog. Shhh)

Q.How do you ask the rose to go the moon?

A. Gulab Ja-mun.

P.S-Thanks for all the support you people gave me, after that horrifying sentimental shit that I vomitted out in my previous post. Yes, I am trying to grow up and become more serious about my career and not be an emotional fool but Mads won't ever lose her madness :-)

G-I-R-L-S !!!

Girls suck, don't they ? True, I'm a girl, but I'm a tomboy and thank God I'm a tomboy !! And yes, I have some girly qualities which I hate but have to live with it...But..it's sad being a girl !!

Here's why girls suck !!!

1) They think too much !! About every damn thing !! Like.. A wore this black pant yesterday afternoon and today morning she's wearing the same thing...Or.. C (guy) praised A's ear rings. Something's going on, I'm damn sure !! Or... A and B wore the same hair rubber band today !! Oh yeah? Really? Ohhh the world will come to an end now !!!! Aaaaaaarghhhhhh !!

2) They worry too much. About every damn thing. Oh there's an exam, I need to study, I have to skip dinner tonight. Oh this button of my shirt has come out, I have to take it to the tailors now, Oh God help me. Aaaaaarghhhhhh chillax, won't u !!

3) They fuss about their own clothes and about other's clothes. If I wear black pants today and if I repeat it tomorrow, no, I should be hanged to death for this error. If A wears light pink shirt and B wears light pink shirt with a black border, A will rush back and change her shirt and then come back. If a drop of tea falls on A's blue trousers, she will rush back and change her trousers. No, I am not kidding.

4) Is my kaajal okay? Is my hair okay? Is my skin looking too dry? Is my lip gloss a bit too much? Is my shirt too short? Is my shirt and pant combination looking weird ? Aaaaarghhhhhhhh
Oh and I almost forgot.
I reply "Yeah, it's looking okay."
The next question.
"Are u sure? with a worried look on the face.

5) Pink se panga nahi lene ka. Girls love pink. A room with pink walls, pink curtains, pink bed, pink cupboard full of pink clothes, get the pink picture, don't u ? We just love pink :-)

6) Girls hate sports. Some love it for the men. Brett Lee. Yuvraj Singh. Rahul Dravid. :-) Sigh. But when it comes to playing sports, either they're afraid of developing muscles. Or they are afraid of marching around like a guy (like I do :-P) Or they are simply afraid their nails might break off.

7) Girls with attitude suck big time. Fine ur good looking. Fine u've got great brains. BUT HOW ABOUT BEING DOWN TO EARTH ABOUT IT ???????????

8) Girls will never understand girls.

9) Girls bitch a lot. Girls can't keep personal and professional life apart. If A and B don't like each other, forget about involving them in something together. It won't work out. I admire guys for that. They keep aside their differences and stick together, come what may.

10) Girls care too much. They cry too much. They are too emotional for words.

And a lot more of that...I realize this list will never end, lol........