Looking back at '09

You are over, you are gone, you're finished,

Thank God, you ain't gonnna be back,

Guess you are happy your job's accomplished,

Hope you hibernate, whilst you hit the sack.

What about that gut feeling that,

You are gonna suck, fuck it all out?

No, I didn't put on weight, no fat,

Didn't lose my temper, not a shout.

Just when it was getting bearable,

A glimpse of myself was shown,

Naah! Realized, life can't be stable,

My happiness couldn't be borne.

A sudden jerk, of horror, shock, pain,

Like a flash it was all over,

Picking up the pieces, had to be sane,

Nowhere to run or hide, had no cover.

Cheers to 2010, not hoping for the best,

Since 2009 took away everything of mine,

So, 2010, take what's yours, be my guest,

Coz whatever you do, I'll have to smile.

How I learnt to talk on and on and on and Why I am what I am today.....

A first year girl asked me the other day, "Madhuri Ma'm (sarcasm dripped all over), were you as crazy as you are now, right from before??"
This is the answer to her question....

I had only one best friend right from 1st standard till 9th standard. I loved her and didn't want anyone else in my life. I found other girls fake and idiotic. I never found anyone else of my frequency and could never find anyone else with whom I gelled. I talked to only 2-3 other girls with whom I gelled decently. I remained shy, reserved and kept to myself. I was never caught talking in class and many people didn't even recognize my voice since I hardly talked.

But then, this girl N, shifted to my class in 8th standard. On the 1st day of 9th standard, incidentally, she sat near my bench. We started talking and hell, she was damn witty and
funny. She blabbered on and I used to put in my one liner comments here and there. She often asked me why I never talked much. She was the first one who told me I have a good
sense of humour, and I think I showed my poems to her first. She encouraged me hell lot.

All these 9 years in school, I had never talked to anyone on and on, except for my best friend and another girl. It was difficult to come out of my shell so quickly.N helped me a lot. She introduced me to her other friends. I knew 2 girls in that group and I was new to 2 other girls. Soon, we sat together during recess hours. They were (are) crazy, quirky, mad, bad, and I really loved it. It's not that I left my best friend. In 10th standard, I changed my division and so did N and my other new found friends. So, my best friend and I couldn't hang out much since we were in different divisions, different tuitions etc.

10th ended, I hadn't changed much. I never talked that much.

11-12th came. N moved to South Africa and our group was separated, everyone was scattered. We kept in touch through calls and mails. I grew closer to my school friends now.They taught me to talk. They taught me to do whatever I pleased. They taught me to be optimistic, mad, and not give a damn to anyone. They taught me to enjoy each and every moment of the present because it will never come back, and to be 24*7 obsessed with Harry Potter and hot cricketers. Also, they taught me the essence of PJ's in our lives. :-)

College started. I was now talkative and mixed around well. I wasn't afraid to throw my one liner jokes at any random Tom, Harry or anyone's dick :P

It's all thanks to N,for introducing me to J,R,NN,AR.
Thanks to my best friend, H, for sticking to me till today. This is the 15th year of our friendship, I realize....

N is coming back from South Africa, to India permanently next week. I met my other group friends today and I have never felt this happy before. Life seems perfect today even if I have exams on your head,fights in college,get rude reactions when I make MJ's (Madhuri Jokes),horrible mess food and no Rahul Dravid with me.